So far, Hitler has died
You know it's funny. I feel like I'm on trial here. Hmph'. Maybe I am.
You are.
Yeah. Ummm, what am I supposed to say to you?
Tell me why you're here.
Yes, that's right. How long have I been waiting?
53 of your years.
That long? I guess so. In my spare time I've learned the English language and everything about the United States there is to know. I've discovered many things about the country that "defeated us".
Yes.
Hmph'. It's funny, I learned more when I wasn't around anymore than I ever could have when I was.
Yes.
Shoot. You know, I'm still a little foggy about what exactly happened back there.
Yes.
I mean, it happened so fast and all-
Yes.
Okay here goes. It was April 30, 1945. I was an officer stationed in the Nazi underground bunker in Berlin. The Allies had invaded the city and thought it was only a matter of time before they made it to the Fuhrer and ended the Third Reich forever. I uhhhh…I remember being in the galley a lot during those few days. Hmph. Christ. Uhhh…
Continue.
It's kind of hard to remember, you know?
It always is…at first.
Okay give me a sec…
My name is Michael Herchaef. I was born in Berlin on the sixth of December, 1915. At the age of 20 I enlisted in the Nazi army. Some years later I joined the S.S. I moved up through the ranks and became one of the Fuhrer's secret generals.
I was privy to Nazi Germany's most intimate secrets. From the rocket-belt brigades to the murder of Franklin Roosevelt. I knew everything. That's why I was in Berlin with the Fuhrer.
We had secretly developed thirty working hydrogen missiles. Every last one of them was in that underground bunker and every last one of them was pointed at a major Ally city. Everyone who knew that these missiles existed also knew that they were our last weapon. Our armies were defeated and our war was lost, but the Fuhrer had said that if he died he would drag a world in flames with him and he damn well meant it.
From the moment I woke up that morning I had this feeling something was wrong. The stone walls seemed dirtier, the wooden tables seemed older, the people seemed suspicious. It was about 4:00 in the morning in that part of the world and everyone was tired. Before I had gone to bed last night I had figured that I wouldn't be alive much longer anyway so I hadn't bothered to take off my uniform before I went to sleep. My eyes stung slightly as the artificial light seeped into them. I slipped on my dark boots for the last time, got to my feet, and lazily marched into the missile silo wearing a frown. I looked up at the Fuhrer. He seemed so caught up in the details of the launch that he didn't even notice me. He barked a few orders at a technician from the back of his throat then looked up at me.
Breaking into one of his few broad smiles he paced up close to me. I noticed his right hand move up to his face and scratch his mustache. "General," he said, "today will be the greatest the fatherland has ever seen. I have been informed that we will be able to crush the Allies in four hours."
"They have been such fools," I said, smirking a bit. "They believe our threats are not backed up. They actually believe we will all commit suicide!"
The Fuhrer chuckled then turned from me and joined his new wife at a breakfast table. "He seems so tired," I thought to myself. I shook my head as I thought of how horrible it must be to have to wake up so early for a man who so loves to sleep in.
The thought of sleep seemed so appealing just then I had to violently rub my hands against my face to keep awake. I moved out of the missile silo in a light jog trying to warm up my muscles. But as I said earlier, something seemed very off.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw another of the Fuhrer's secret General's hiding in a shadow. I turned and saw he was trying to down a cup of coffee. He was trembling so much the hot drink was spilling over the brim. His body was drenched in sweat.
I walked towards him with one of my eyebrows raised. He looked away, his body still shaking.
"What's wrong General?" I asked. The man began to breathe more heavily but did not answer.
"What's wrong General?!"
His eyes met mine for less than a second, then turned away. Just as I was about to leave I heard him mutter the word "die".
"Excuse me?"
"D-Die. We-we're gonna' die now." I grabbed his shoulders and attempted to shake him back to his senses.
"Yes we'll die, but our enemies will get to keep us company!"
"Y-You don't understand. In my sleep, I-I had a vision."
"We're all having nightmares General."
"It wasn't a nightmare! It was a vision. From God."
"You are a fool." I muttered, pushing him away.
"No!" he screamed stuttering more than ever. "No! The lord has shown me in a vision our fate! We have performed a grave injustice and shall be punished! All of the Axis Powers!"
I slapped his face as hard as I could. "Shut up!" I yelled.
"We die. Today we die!!! The ancient demon known as Bharraghon will wreck his vengeance on us! A decade after that Tokyo will fall to the hands of the force they call Gojira, and shortly after Rome will be destroyed by the entity they call Ymir!"
"You fool! Stop your noise making now!"
"We'll die! We'll die! We'll die! We'll die! We'll die! We'll die! We'll…"
At that moment I snapped and viciously pressed my fingers over the man's throat. Everything seemed dark and wrong. Finally the figure I held became limp and I released it.
I kicked the heap that was his carcass and left the room. I saw the Fuhrer and froze. I realized he could not see the dead man in the room and unconsciously raised my arm to "hail Hitler". My leader moved on and I sighed.
Just then I was aware of a small tremor in the ground. The slight tremor grew into a violent roar and I lost my balance. My eyes glanced at the Fuhrer, his eyes wild with rage. "The Allies!!" he screamed. But before he could get to his feet we saw that the tremor had, in fact, not been caused by the Allies. Through a huge hole in the stone floors we each beheld not earth, but scaled, brown flesh.
I moved to my wobbly feet and ran like hell away from the sight. Instants later the floor, ceiling and walls of the bunker fell away as a massive shape was pushed up from under them. It was unimaginably huge. No man had ever lain eyes on something like this. The demon was covered in brown scales each as big as my head. It sat still in the bunker, like a huge statue. The body seemed almost crocadilian. The four legs stood at the sides of the body like curved pillars. Large black claws jutted from the ragged skin by the toes. The head was incredibly bizarre. The eyes were almost comically large, the ears hung limp at the sides of its head like giant torn leaves. There was no muzzle, just a mouth containing hundreds of huge, needlelike teeth. And in the middle of the forehead was a huge, crystaline, glowing horn. From the tip of its tail to the point of its horn, Bharraghon was at least 200 feet long. Bharraghon did not stay statue-like for long. In a few instants it had turned on its heels and was scurrying through the underground bunker. My fear left and I realized the direction the creature was heading in. "The missiles!" I shouted. The Fuhrer was already on his feet, running after the tremendous demon with a terrified expression on his face. We reached the silo one moment to late. Bharraghon looked with curiosity at the 30 gleaming objects that were so carefully preserved in front of it. All I could think of was what destruction would happen to the fatherland if only one of the devices went off.
"My missiles!" the Fuhrer cried. "My fire! My power! Damn you whatever you are!!!" I prayed my hardest to God that the missiles wouldn't explode. My prayers were answered as the demon opened its mouth wide and devoured the missiles in one gulp. The Fuhrer seemed to go insane with rage.
"NOOOOOOO!!!!" he screamed, drops of saliva flying from his mouth. I was now nearly as afraid of the Fuhrer as I was of the demon. I grabbed hold of the Fuhrer and dragged him safely out of the silo.
The second he could no longer see Bharraghon the Fuhrer regained his senses. I was relieved the warheads had not detonated in the beast's gullet. My master sadly looked up at me- no longer the fearless Fuhrer, but rather the pampered and scared Adolf Hitler he had been as a boy. He calmly made the decision to see his wife one final time. I followed.
In her room, Eva Hitler was holding a tablet of cyanide. Her gaze was fixed on this object, as though it was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen. Adolf sat down at her side and held her hand. He was suddenly holding a pistol in his hand. "I swear that thing will never get me!" he shouted, and handed the gun to Eva. I closed my eyes tightly, heard a deafening gunshot, then lifted my eyelids again and saw my Fuhrer, my whole life, lying motionless next to his wife of less than two days. She made a final jerk and collapsed next to him on their bed.
I suddenly felt dead inside. The wall to the room shattered like glass as the demon looked in. My eyes were half open, staring blankly ahead. Bharraghon's horn glowed brighter than the sun, it opened its mouth, and a stream of hellish fire shot forward from its throat and filled Adolf's bed chamber.
The fire dissapeared as soon as it had come and I saw the smoldering ashes of two human beings. The demon's head turned and gazed at me, then turned back towards the middle of the bunker. I sighed relief again.
Bharraghon pushed its claws into the ground and dug under the stone floor and back under the Earth's surface once again. I cried.
For my entire life I had thought I was part of the superior race. I had thought that everyone on the planet not like me was hardly more than an animal. That my kind was stronger, smarter, and better than all others. And now, sitting not 20 feet from the ashes of my leader, I had been deemed not important enough to swat away. I was not as pesky as even a fly. I mattered not. I was not superior. I had never been superior. All the power I thought the Third Reich possessed was nothing more than a single bee sting in comparison to the planet itself. The lord God and the power of life were stronger than anything I had ever known. My crying did not stop.
A few days later Allied troops broke into the bunker. I saw my fellow Nazis surrendering, I saw myself unable to. After this I would have had no life. I couldn't persuade myself to ever even stand up. I think I remember an Ally soldier yelling at me to put down my gun and surrender. I couldn't do it. I remember seeing smoke coming out of his rifle, and… that's it. That's why I'm here. I guess that soldier killed me.
Yes.
So that would explain who you are.
Yes.
And what will happen to me.
Yes.
So this is what I've waited 53 years for.
Yes. You must go now. Your time on Earth is finished. You will be in my world from now until eternity.
Great. Eternal suffering. Oh well.
Look on the bright side, you'll get to spend some quality time with the Fuhrer.
So far, Hitler has died times.
He's da' king!
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