The Rules Of Acquistion

1.
Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rom, "The Nagus"

1.
If they want their money back, give it to them.
Rom and Quark, "Prophet Motive"

3.
Never spend more for an Acquisition than you have to.
Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"

4.
A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
'Rules of Netquisition'

6.
Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Zek, "The Nagus"

7.
Keep your ears open.
Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"

8.
Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
Vung, Warchild

8.
Small print leads to large risk.
Rules

9.
Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Nog, "The Storyteller"

10.
Greed is eternal.
Quark, "Prophet Motive"

10.
Greed is dead.
Rom, "Prophet Motive"

12.
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
'Rules of Netquisition'

13.
Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.
The Making of ST:DS9

16.
A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along).
Quark, "Melora" (Add-on: Rules)

17.
A contract is a contract is a contract--but only between Ferengi.
Rom, Quark, Brunt, and Gint, "Body Parts"

18.
A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Ben Sisko and Nog, "Heart of Stone"

19.
Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
wwwepwww

21.
Never place friendship before profit.
Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"

21.
Never place profit before friendship.
Rom, "Prophet Motive"

22.
A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

22.
Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.
Rom, "Rules of Acquisition"

23.
Money can never replace dignity.
Rom, "Prophet Motive"

25.
There's always a way out.
'Rules of Netquisition'

26.
As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
'Rules of Netquisition'

27.
There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rules

31.
Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother (...insult something he cares about, instead).
Quark, "The Siege" (Add-on: Rules)

33.
It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Quark and Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

34.
War is good for business.
Quark, "Destiny"

35.
Peace is good for business.
Dax, "Destiny"

39.
Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
'Rules of Netquisition'

40.
She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum.
Rules

41.
Profit is its own reward.
Rules

42.
What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.
'Rules of Netquisition'

44.
Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rules

46.
Make your shop easy to find.
'Rules of Netquisition'

47.
Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.
Quark, "Rivals"

48.
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

50.
Gratitude can bring on generosity.
'Rules of Netquisition'

52.
Never ask when you can take.
Rules

57.
Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them.
Quark, "Armageddon Game"

58.
There is no substitute for success.
Rules

59.
Free advice is seldom cheap.
Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"

60.
Let's you and him fight.
Tunk, Balance of Power

60.
Keep your lies consistent.
Rules

62.
The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Pel, "The Rules of Acquisition"

65.
Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
Rules

68.
Ear stroking will get you anything.
'Rules of Netquisition'

69.
Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
Tunk, Balance of Power

72.
Never trust your customers.
'Rules of Netquisition'

73.
If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
'Rules of Netquisition'

75.
Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum
Quark, "Civil Defense"

76.
Every once in a while declare peace--It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Quark, "The Homecoming"

79.
Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Rules

82.
The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rules

85.
Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Rules

89.
Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits.
Rules

94.
Females and finances don't mix.
Rules

96.
For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule. (except when there's not)
Rules

97.
Enough... is never enough.
Rules

98.
Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
'Rules of Netquisition'

99.
Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rules

101.
The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
'Rules of Netquisition'

102.
Nature decays, but Latinum is forever.
Quark and Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"

103.
Sleep can interfere with... [cut off]
Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

104.
Faith moves mountains... of inventory.
Rules

106.
There is no honor in poverty.
Rules

109.
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Rivals

111.
Treat people in your debt like family--exploit them.
Ben Sisko, "Past Tense Part I"

112.
Never have sex with the boss' sister.
Quark, "Playing God"

113.
Always have sex with the boss.
Rules

116.
There's always a catch.
'Rules of Netquisition'

119.
Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet (...sometimes, good things come in small packages).
'Rules of Netquisition'

121.
Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rules

123.
Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.
Rules

125.
Count it.
'Rules of Netquisition'

135.
Never trust a beneficiary.
'Rules of Netquisition'

139.
Wives serve. Brothers inherit.
Odo, "Necessary Evil"

141.
Only fools pay retail.
Rules

144.
There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rules

146.
Necessity, n. The mother of invention. Profit is the father.
'Rules of Netquisition'

153.
Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Quark, DS9 Comic #22

162.
Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rules

169.
Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
'Rules of Netquisition'

177.
Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
Rules

181.
Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rules

184.
[not given]
Tunk, Balance of Power

189.
Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Rules

191.
A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Tunk, Balance of Power

192.
Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
Rules

194.
It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Quark, "Whispers"

200.
If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.
'Rules of Netquisition'

202.
The justification of profit is profit.
Rules

203.
New customers are like razor toothed gree worms,they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
Rom, "Little Green Men"

208.
The only thing scarier than asking the question is getting the answer.

211.
Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
Frool, "The Bar Association"

214.
Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Quark, "The Maquis Part I"

216.
Never gamble with an empath. Quark, DS9 Novel #12

217.
You can't free a fish from water.
Quark, "Past Tense Part I"

218.
Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
Quark, DS9 Comic #12: "Baby on Board"

219.
Always know what you're buying.
Rules [Quark referenced in "The Abandoned"]

219.
Possession is ¹¹/₁₀ of the law.
Tunk, Balance of Power

223.
Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Rules

229.
Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rules

236.
You can't buy fate.
Rules

239.
Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Gint, "Body Parts"

242.
More is good... all is better.
Rules

243.
[not given]
Quark, Devil in the Sky

255.
A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.
Rules

261.
A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rules

263.
Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
Rom, "The Bar Association"

265.
The customer is always right (...until you get their cash).
'Rules of Netquisition'

266.
When in doubt, lie.
Rules

284.
Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Rules

285.
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Quark, "The Collaborator"

285.
A good deed is its own reward.
Rom, "Prophet Motive"

286.
When Morn leaves, it's all over.
Quark, The House of Quark

?.
One person's secret is another person's opportunity.
Quark, Devil in the Sky

1.	Once you have their money, you never give it back.	Rom, "The Nagus"
1.	If they want their money back, give it to them.	Rom and Quark, "Prophet Motive"
3.	Never spend more for an Acquisition than you have to.	Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"
4.	A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.	'Rules of Netquisition'
6.	Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.	Zek, "The Nagus"
7.	Keep your ears open.	Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"
8.	Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.	Vung, Warchild
8.	Small print leads to large risk.	Rules
9.	Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.	Nog, "The Storyteller"
10.	Greed is eternal.	Quark, "Prophet Motive"
10.	Greed is dead.	Rom, "Prophet Motive"
12.	Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.	'Rules of Netquisition'
13.	Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.	The Making of ST:DS9
16.	A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along).	Quark, "Melora" (Add-on: Rules)
17.	A contract is a contract is a contract--but only between Ferengi.	Rom, Quark, Brunt, and Gint, "Body Parts"
18.	A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.	Ben Sisko and Nog, "Heart of Stone"
19.	Satisfaction is not guaranteed.	wwwepwww
21.	Never place friendship before profit.	Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
21.	Never place profit before friendship.	Rom, "Prophet Motive"
22.	A wise man can hear profit in the wind.	Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
22.	Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.	Rom, "Rules of Acquisition"
23.	Money can never replace dignity.	Rom, "Prophet Motive"
25.	There's always a way out.	'Rules of Netquisition'
26.	As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.	'Rules of Netquisition'
27.	There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.	Rules
31.	Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother (...insult something he cares about, instead).	Quark, "The Siege" (Add-on: Rules)
33.	It never hurts to suck up to the boss.	Quark and Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
34.	War is good for business.	Quark, "Destiny"
35.	Peace is good for business.	Dax, "Destiny"
39.	Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.	'Rules of Netquisition'
40.	She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum.	Rules
41.	Profit is its own reward.	Rules
42.	What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.	'Rules of Netquisition'
44.	Never confuse wisdom with luck.	Rules
46.	Make your shop easy to find.	'Rules of Netquisition'
47.	Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.	Quark, "Rivals"
48.	The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.	Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
50.	Gratitude can bring on generosity.	'Rules of Netquisition'
52.	Never ask when you can take.	Rules
57.	Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them.	Quark, "Armageddon Game"
58.	There is no substitute for success.	Rules
59.	Free advice is seldom cheap.	Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
60.	Let's you and him fight.	Tunk, Balance of Power
60.	Keep your lies consistent.	Rules
62.	The riskier the road, the greater the profit.	Pel, "The Rules of Acquisition"
65.	Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.	Rules
68.	Ear stroking will get you anything.	'Rules of Netquisition'
69.	Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.	Tunk, Balance of Power
72.	Never trust your customers.	'Rules of Netquisition'
73.	If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.	'Rules of Netquisition'
75.	Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum	Quark, "Civil Defense"
76.	Every once in a while declare peace--It confuses the hell out of your enemies.	Quark, "The Homecoming"
79.	Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.	Rules
82.	The flimsier the product, the higher the price.	Rules
85.	Never let the competition know what you're thinking.	Rules
89.	Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits.	Rules
94.	Females and finances don't mix.	Rules
96.	For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule. (except when there's not)	Rules
97.	Enough... is never enough.	Rules
98.	Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.	'Rules of Netquisition'
99.	Trust is the biggest liability of all.	Rules
101.	The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.	'Rules of Netquisition'
102.	Nature decays, but Latinum is forever.	Quark and Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"
103.	Sleep can interfere with... [cut off]	Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
104.	Faith moves mountains... of inventory.	Rules
106.	There is no honor in poverty.	Rules
109.	Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.	Rivals
111.	Treat people in your debt like family--exploit them.	Ben Sisko, "Past Tense Part I"
112.	Never have sex with the boss' sister.	Quark, "Playing God"
113.	Always have sex with the boss.	Rules
116.	There's always a catch.	'Rules of Netquisition'
119.	Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet (...sometimes, good things come in small packages).	'Rules of Netquisition'
121.	Everything is for sale, including friendship.	Rules
123.	Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.	Rules
125.	Count it.	'Rules of Netquisition'
135.	Never trust a beneficiary.	'Rules of Netquisition'
139.	Wives serve. Brothers inherit.	Odo, "Necessary Evil"
141.	Only fools pay retail.	Rules
144.	There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.	Rules
146.	Necessity, n. The mother of invention. Profit is the father.	'Rules of Netquisition'
153.	Sell the sizzle, not the steak.	Quark, DS9 Comic #22
162.	Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.	Rules
169.	Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.	'Rules of Netquisition'
177.	Know your enemies... but do business with them always.	Rules
181.	Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.	Rules
184.	[not given]	Tunk, Balance of Power
189.	Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.	Rules
191.	A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.	Tunk, Balance of Power
192.	Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.	Rules
194.	It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.	Quark, "Whispers"
200.	If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.	'Rules of Netquisition'
202.	The justification of profit is profit.	Rules
203.	New customers are like razor toothed gree worms,they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.	Rom, "Little Green Men"
208.	The only thing scarier than asking the question is getting the answer.
211.	Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them.	Frool, "The Bar Association"
214.	Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.	Quark, "The Maquis Part I"
216.	Never gamble with an empath.	Quark, DS9 Novel #12
217.	You can't free a fish from water.	Quark, "Past Tense Part I"
218.	Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.	Quark, DS9 Comic #12: "Baby on Board"
219.	Always know what you're buying.	Rules [Quark referenced in "The Abandoned"]
219.	Possession is ¹¹/₁₀ of the law.	Tunk, Balance of Power
223.	Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.	Rules
229.	Latinum lasts longer than lust.	Rules
236.	You can't buy fate.	Rules
239.	Never be afraid to mislabel a product.	Gint, "Body Parts"
242.	More is good... all is better.	Rules
243.	[not given]	Quark, Devil in the Sky
255.	A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.	Rules
261.	A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.	Rules
263.	Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.	Rom, "The Bar Association"
265.	The customer is always right (...until you get their cash).	'Rules of Netquisition'
266.	When in doubt, lie.	Rules
284.	Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.	Rules
285.	No good deed ever goes unpunished.	Quark, "The Collaborator"
285.	A good deed is its own reward.	Rom, "Prophet Motive"
286.	When Morn leaves, it's all over.	Quark, The House of Quark
?.	One person's secret is another person's opportunity.	Quark, Devil in the Sky