BOOK PLOTS

Ax dies after gorging himself on twinkies, as the
volatile filling causes him to glow green and explode.

Jake sticks a lightbulb in his mouth and runs around yelling
"Yamamamamamam" for a whole page in #9503.

In number #53, Marco has a mid-life crisis after finding
a hagnail.

The Animorphs win the war by discovering a totally new lifeform
that can help destroy the Yeerks, only to find it was the Ellimist wearing a silly hat.

Marco's dad does nothing but sit and home and act normally,
and not get into any trouble and has a generally nice hour-break in #334.

Cassie loses her wallet in #5.

In #78, the Animorphs get a mysterious call with alien origins, which they decide to do
absolutely nothing about.

The Animorphs find the Taxxons were all made of styrofoam.

Jake, Cassie, Tobias, Marco and Rachel will be walking  in a lumber yard
during nighttime and be given the power to never morph again by a backwards Andalite.

In #54, the Animorphs discover that 5 minutes after Loren met Elfangor,
she died of sunburn. The 'new' Loren was actually Arbron in morph, and he
stayed with Elfangor for the rest of his time on Earth because 'he got a kick outta that.'

Homer the dog eats Marco.

Marco eats Homer the Dog.

Homer the Dog is expelled from Marco's system in the form of a green glowing globule, much more likeable than anyone in the Animorphs, who becomes the new leader.

Visser 1, discovering that Marco is her son, decides on the ultimate plot to destroy and humiliate him (despite the fact she has no idea who he REALLY is; she just does this sort of thing for kicks) - by KNITTING HIM A SWEATER AND MATCHING PANTS, and making him WEAR IT OUTSIDE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  OH, THE HUMANITY!

The Animorphs learn all about Visser Two- who, horrifyingly, doesn't know any of them and has never been heard of before, and is an elderly Taxxon named Arthur Tweedle.

In #29, a massive house will fall down on Visser 3, killing him and causing his hooves to roll up....

The #34, 15 Sario rips open at once and the Animorphs are sucked back to 1934.  Whilst there, Marco accidentally saves a hospice worker name Edith, and this alters the future by preventing America from enter *several men from Paramount run in, grab the writer from his keyboard and throw him in jail at the Secret paramount facility for those who mock them*

HOLD ON! HOLD ON!
Marco accidentally saves a hospice worker called Edith, and this alters the future by preventing America from
entering the Lima Bean Olympics. But Marco doesn't care, because he finally got to ask a woman how they knit hairdo's.

In #37, Rachel leaves the Animorphs after accepting a contract for Friday's WWF Nitro....

In #872, the Animorphs stop the Andalites from making a dreadful mistake - making McDonalds a universal
thing.

In #111, the Animorphs step on a samoflange.

In #69, the Animorphs get a visit from the Ellimist and discover everything is exactly as it seems.

In #60, the Animorphs are forced to allow a young... girl named....Davina to join the animorphs after she finds the blue morphing cube and her uncles are forced to become controllers.  However, after she pushes Jake down the stairs, throws a rock at a red-tailed Hawk and whacks Ax with a wet noodle, the Animorphs decide to force her to become a pencil nothlit and leave her on an island full of sharpeners.  A 3 book arc.

#52 will be an entirely black and white book.

There will be a new series called the "People who never appeared in the Books" chronicles, narrated by a guy who was never in any of the books.  It'll reveal a lot of stuff about a town near somebody who wasn't in a book, and will continue Mr. Thorpe's forbidden romance with Suzie the female custodian.

In #56, Melissa Chapman will join the Animorphs after being whacked in the head with a broom.  She has amnesia, and is told by the Animorphs her name is Xanadardararaeeeyak and she's a Bulgarian orphan that Ax accidentally vomited up one day.

In #423 Jake and Marco escape through the Alps wearing nun costumes.

In #86, Marco will dress up as a monkey and play the flute.

In #455 the Animorphs discover that the human race was formed in the exact way they'd thought they were formed-  without any intervention from aliens.

In #1984 the Animorphs fall through a Sario Rip into San Fransisco, looking for a whale......

In #1951 Aximili morphs into a woodchuck to solve the age-old problem of how much wood could a woodchuck chuck. However, the answer surprises everyone and could mean a new weapon in the war against the Yeerks.
 

MORPHS AND APPEARANCES

In #88, Ax morphs a fishnet stocking.

In #34, Marco morphs his TV.

In #46, Jake morphs a small wooden table.

In #40, Sailor Moon makes an appearance.

In #40, the Care Bears make an appearance.

In #40, the Tellytubbies make an appearance.

In #40, the Animorphs don't make an appearance because 'too many cameo characters are stealing our books'!

In #53, Marco morphs a lima bean.

In #77, Tobias morphs a vacuum cleaner to suck up nasty Yeerks.

In #37, an amazingly powerful race of aliens arrives, only to decide that they are A) in the wrong series, and B) couldn't be bothered doing any of this **** anyway.

In #29, the Animorphs morph a whole lot of flying monkeys and munchkins. The ones who morph
flying Monkeys fall and hurt their hats.

A cigar from Cuba, who's really an intergalactic being named TUGILRDYI comes in #890 to give the Animorphs
some reeeallly good advice on how to win at Blackjack.

In #99 Rachel will morph a thimble and protect the Animorphs from evil Needle-controllers.

In #0909 Tobias will morph an aubergine.

In #1999 Ax, hoping to lull the Yeerks into a false sense of security, morphs into the entire US Congress.
However, its crooked emotions are too strong for Ax to fight and he makes several rash policy decisions following official government cheese usage in South America.
 
 

MISC

The Andalites were the ones who invented Mondays.

The Pemalites created the Post Office on 15 CherryTree lane.

Yeerk Kandrona tastes like chicken.

The red-eyed guy is really a pissed-off Fred Savage who hasn't been able to find work since "The Wonder Years".

The Yeerks enjoy snorting cabbage.

The first Hork-Bajir in the universe was cursed by the Ellimist for cow-tipping.  Subsequent generations are all genetically incapable of cow-tipping.

The first Andalite's name was Fred.

The first Yeerk's name was Fred.

The war started because 'the Yeerks were copy-catting'!

Did not!

Did too!

Taxxons enjoy nothing more than to have a rousing chat about quantum relativity in front of a
rotting mongoose carcass, two strawberry heads and a person reciting the 80th psalm in
tibetan goat-herders subdialect #88888.

The Leerans can't play the goat.

The Andalites finally send lots of troops, ships and help to earth only to be shot
and stuffed as trophies in-season....

The Ellimists were orginally to be called, 'EllenDegeneres', however an outcry over their...preferences...sparked a change.

The one-eyed pink guy is really the Wizard of Oz.

Sub-Visser 72's favourite pastime is reading the page of the dictionary that contains the word "perfunctory", again and again.

The Ellimists' Patron God is the rubber ducky.

The Yeerks are kept alive by the product 'Yeerky Milk'. They even have a jingle for it which they sing going
into battle; 'Yeerky Milk, Yeerky Milk, Ooh, I love Yeerky Milk'.

The Chigs came from Earth.

The author was gutted for the statement above which had no relevance to Animorphs.

The Yeerk's original plan was to go into every human house and leave the toilet seat up, use all the paper and eat all the Fudge Ripple icecream, thus irritating the humans so much they exploded.

My head hurts.

The Arn were originally human extras who had gotten stuck in some of the better Star Trek outfits.

Visser 1 is a Dixie Chick.

Visser 12 is congealing.
 

TITLES

#32 - the Splurging.
#32 - the Gouging.
#32 - the Antidisestablishmentarianism.
#45 - the Salmonella
#33 - the Shining
#34 - the Lawsuit
#35 - the Countersuit
#36 - the Chewbacca Defence
#37 - the Silly Monkey
#111 - the Samoflange*
#12 - the Unwinding.
#34 - the Swindler.
#56 - the Narcoleptic
#72 - the Leper in the Outfield
#46 - the Gooey Drippy Melty Spongey Syrupy Ice Cream
#35 - the delicious roasted peanuts with chewing marshmellow coated in premium belgian chocolate
#52 - the Curse of the Ongoing Titles
#40 - the Boredom
#98 - the One where the Gang does that ripoff thing
#452 - the Backne
#90 - the Infernity
#91 - the Very Naughty Engine
#56 - the Bulgarian
#2367890 - the Ixnay on the Umbernay
#60 - the New Hope-less
#61 - the Yeerk Empire Strikes Back
#62 - the Return of the Bedbug
#63 - the Even Bigger Second Lawsuit
#423 - the Sound Of Marco
#86 - the Flutition
#999 - the Bobbsey Yeerks
#64 - Party of Gedds
#80 - Home and a Hork-Bajir
#54 - Pokeyeerks
#111 - South Arn
#254 - Tellytaxxons
#47 - Romeo and Yeerkulet
#99 - the Phantom Yeerkage
#48 - Little House on the Domeship
#00 - Mad About Visser
#94 - Gettin' Yeerky With It
(NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH! NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH! Gettin' Yeerky with it!)

Chronicles

= The Boiled Sweet Chronicles, narrated by a strawberry toffee.
= The Hardass Chronicles, narrated by Tobias' mother's pet bird's distant roomate.
= The fwitsiar Chronicles, telling the tale of a small type of parasite which lives aboard Yeerk ships and eats the dust in the corners.  Will be narrated by Zzzhyetlia, the hero queen of the fwitsiar.
= The Gutzy Chronicles, the tale of the lonely taxxon who only wanted to 'Eat and consume the innocent'.
= The Pane Chronicles, about the life of a window pane in a house that was smashed by the animorphs.
= The Cinnabon Chronicles, telling the tale of a race opressed by the Andalites. Follow the tale of Bonnie, as she wends her way through Ax's digestive system- only to rejoice in the fact she gave him gas.
= Hork-Bajir Chronicles Two, about the first ( and most boring) Hork-Bajir. Snook was a kind Hork-Bajir who only wanted to tip cows...
= The Desk Sitting On My Floor Chronicles - about a desk.... sitting on my floor..... it's really very interesting, you know.
= The Yeerk Hitting the Fan Chronicles - a Yeerk hits the fan with disastrous consequences (consequences: it ruins the lovely pink carpet Chapman put down. It was a lovely carpet and an awful shame to see it mussed.)
= Congress Chronicles - about the trials and tribulations Ax faces after he gets stuck in a nothlit morph of the US Congress. Follow his horror of the budget cuts, revelations about Al Gore, and very silly cheese bits. Features a guest appearance by a Taxxon who walked past Arbron and Elfangor in The Andalite Chronicles.

Potential Spinoff Series

Yeerkger - the tale of a Yeerk starship stuck 20 minutes away from home but crewed by such a bunch of ingrate Yeerk hillbillies that it ends up flying away from the Yeerk homeworld - starring Fod 564, Lod 456, and Dod 678 of the Agamar pool.
Days of our Lies - spawned from the hit book #35.  Gary and Nishandra continue their torrid marriage, whilst Sarai and John start playing games again.  Beff and Denise decide to go for a quick game of lawn bowls.  Also features Mr. Johnston frying some of that bacon in the back of his ute.
Xanadardararaeeeyak - starring Melissa Chapman, who thinks she is a Bulgarian orphan. Follow her hilarious
adventures through places like the Yeerk Pool Toilet Facilities and the Ellimist's Kitchen and see her eventually find love with a snail. (Mention: Since the Animorphs protested that they didn't want to be in that '%&(%$%#^ ripoff' we replaced them with Uma Thurman, Leonardo DiCaprio, Winona Ryder, Antonio Banderas and some other actors who were more than willing to  help us out.)
Marco Goes To Broadway - cause he can seeeenngggg.....
'The hills are alivveee, with the sound of Taxxons!
Laaa laaa laaaaaaaaaaa!'
AniHamlet - Tobias plays Hamlet and is squashed by his hat.
Titan'ick - The Animorphs go back in time and get on a ship called the... Titan. Marco, who falls in love with another person on the ship, named..... Lily. The others yell at Marco not to interfere because Lily is a blonde and Marco a brunette, and it'll never work. But Marco realizes his talent in needlepoint and wins Lily's heart. He sews a very naughty picture of Lily only wearing a full-length dress and her special nose-ring made out of concrete, called the 'Crud of the Sea.' The Titan hits a big Popsicle floating in the ocean. Marco sacrifices his life to save the ship's rats. Lily escapes with her nose-ring and decides not to marry her blonde suitor, and lives unhappily ever after whilst the Animorphs die laughing. (Avaliable with soundtrack: My Liver Will Go On, as sung by the Singing Dancing Hork-Bajir.)
The Phantom Yeerkage - about a time period long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away......

*(see bottom of page)

ROMANCE

Marco and anyone.

Ax and a woman he saw for 5 minutes during a movie.

In #56, a female Andalite comes to Earth and joins the Animorphs- who incidentally,
has never met Ax in her life.

In #35, Gary and Nishandra finally confess their hidden love for one another, whilst
Sarai and John decide to stop playing games.  Beff and Denise continue to pine from afar,
whilst Mr. Johnston goes out in a ute to buy some bacon which he really, really loves.

In #2, a rock will love another rock very briefly.

In #2, that Chester guy mourns for his lost rifle.

Marco falls in love with himself in #29.

In #90, Aximili and Tobias get married. But a jealous Jake interrupts the wedding by revealing
a dark secret about Ax, whilst the bridesmaids Marco and Rachel discover the truth about Visser
Three and Cassie. (A two-parter.)

Ax pays court to a squirrel.

Because Link was voted 'Sexiest Character of '98' Marco cries for two hours, wallows in self-misery, and goes out with him.

Two of the ticks that are on Tobias' body go through a stormy relationship.

When a Gedd throws a rock at a passing Hork-Bajir, Visser Four falls in love with him.

In #47, a Yeerk falls in love with an Andalite named Romeo. Knowing they will never be together, the Yeerk gorges herself on Ruffles and explodes and the Andalite shoves a corkscrew in his hoof and dies from the wound. (It's all very tragic, you know.)

The untold story of the Ellimist's love for the Overmind.

If any of these ever happen......... Pay me $20!

Want to go back?

* - What the F*** is a samoflange?