Little short people with little shoes and little hands and little ties. Otherwise known as Carnies of the genus Carnivalius Minutus. As i said short little people, who have to use little forks to eat their little meals, which of course they finish off because most of them are actualy space aliens that are trapped in the carny bodies because they all seem to land in circuses something about circusses seems to attract flying saucers, circus's and booze, that's it. the truth is that I don't really know why aliens are always short and midgetlike, THEY JUST ARE.

Well then, Midgets, the little people, Munchkins, Carnies, about a yard tall and half a yard wide, perfect for measurements, yes this room is about 30 carnies big. This should be big enough for a pool it's 5 by 15 carnies. This would be all well and good except that the Carnies (or verticaly challenged as some people say) don't really like being used as a type of measurement. The truth is that I don't think that very many people would like this, think of the poor inchworm, measured away into obscurity. Measurement isn't one of those jobs that promises a lot of growth it really is a kind of dead end job, "well today I'm being used for measuring floorspace but they say that if I work hard that someday i'll be the president of this firm!" says the Midget, well don't listen to him!!!!!! I cannot stress this enough, NEVER let someone use you as a standardized measurement, the pay is bad and although your usefullness will never run out you will be replaced by others or maybe they will make a cheaper version of you out of plastic, what are you going to do then? Peddle your services door to door? Somehow I don't think so,

"Hello, I'm out of work can you use me to measure something for you?"

As anyone can see even a Calculator-boy (you know those guys that are really tiny tiny midgets that sit in your big fancy calculators and do all the work) have better jobs than standardized midgets. Even Refridgerator-boys (the little guy in the refridgerator that turns on the light when he sees you then hides) have better jobs. The only Midget job that I can think of (mind you these midgets aren't normal midgets they are like tom thumb throwbacks) is the horrible postion that the Microwave-boy goes through, his job is to make sure that your food gets warm in a jiffy so he pulls out his handy-dandy microwave gun, fires it at your food (or sometimes plastic model), and turns green from exastion (or other reasons that our scientists don't want us to know because they actualy like having a microwave boy on hand and want to make sure that his job is never to dangerous).

Well that's enough about jobs that the verticaly challenged can do. just remember the next time you see someone about a yard tall and half a yard wide that he would make a good measuring standard and try with all your might to get him or her to work for you and never ever let them see this little thing I wrote so they won't run off and train with the refridgerator boys or become an aircraft wheel-lifter-upper and get paid a ton, because I know you need to know how many midgets big your room is...