Karyn Crisis
They're baaaaaaaaaack...
Thats right...After way too long Crisis is oming back to the East coast. They are playing Saturday, April 3 @ Valentines in Albany, New York @8pm
It's been along time Jan 21, 2000
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OH, IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU ALL INSIDE MY DREAMY LITTLE WORLD
AND IT'S SO NICE TO BE WITH ALL YOU LOVELY LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS
MAKE YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE
MY PLACE IS SO DEVINE
DON'T YOU THINK I'M WONDERFUL?
SAY YES! YOU'RE ON MY TIME
STAY AWAY
FROM CAPTAIN HOWDY
STAY AWAY
FROM CAPTAIN HOWDY
DON'T TRY TO LEAVE THE DOORS ARE LOCKED AND ONLY I HAVE GOT THE KEY
FORGET THE WINDOWS THEY'RE NAILED SHUT AND BOARDED UP
SO YOU CAN'T SEE
YOU'LL LOVE THE LIGHT SHOW
OH, I'M SURE YOU'LL THINK IT'S SWELL
WHEN THEY GO OFF
YOUR WELCOME TO MY LIVING HELL
STAY AWAY
FROM CAPTAIN HOWDY
STAY AWAY
FROM CAPTAIN HOWDY
COME HERE MY SWEET
LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT
THERE THAT'S BETTER
I'M OVERJOYED AT ALL THE GAMES I'M PLAYING HERE WITH YOU TODAY
BUT I'M SO SAD THE PARTY'S OVER AND WE CAN NO LONGER PLAY
YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING HOME TO YOUR OWN LITTLE BED
BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
YOU CAN'T SLEEP WHEN YOUR DEAD
STAY AWAY
FROM CAPTAIN HOWDY
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The Hollowing
...i NEED and it's never-ending.
who am i? wasted.
who am i this time? wasted
i REGRET every moment
and i mourn
every piece of memory
that i've lived this way
why should i try?
otherwise...who am i? this time
I NEED and i can only give
myself the strength
to look the other way.
why should i try?
otherwise..who am i this time?
GIVE ME ELECTRICITY..
given my life to sacrifice,
nothing left to call myself.
caught up in my purpose,
can't seem to get
what i want
what i want
can't seem to get
what it is that i want.
i said, he's on the left,
she's on the right
that leaves me no place to go.
i'm BURIED under layer
after layer after layer of device
WHO AM I?
wasted. who am i this time?
who am i? wasted. otherwise, this time.
the horizon closed down..
what did you see before the world went dark? i know i have no home now, no place to hide. my home is in your space, STRANGER. no place to hide the edge of the water cracks, and you can see they all have the same face. BROTHER, is there room for a sister now that your bed is gone? DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY.. Brother, friend is foe, and life is a struggle to survive. BROTHER. DESTROY. STRANGER... like dust and we fall and we fall and we fall... the horizon closed down. what did you se before the world went dark? i know i have no home now. give me some place to hide. no escaping the HORIZON. no escaping the WAR. brother, we are HOME. the horizon closed down.
...you're so pale. the lines of your eyes are weathered. your broken arms can hold me no longer. you're so pale now i'm falling down faster. can't see the ground yet, buy i know it's cold and wet. i see you in every cracked line. you haunt me while i chase your ghost i can't seem to catch you. i just can't face your grave you're lost in the darkness, you cannot hear me. i'm lost against the background, wherever i look you can't be found. the shadows fall around me and i can't see where i want to go because because because YOU'RE SO PALE AND DEAD i just can't face your grave release me let me go..
...met up with my soul again on a cold dark road. it got tired of me a long time ago. so i've been living alone do you know what it is to be dead like me? can you feel what it is to be dead like me? can you feel what it is to be? i cut out my heart just the other day. held it in my hand, said it doesn't work that well anyway. who need blood coarsinf through veins.. this is the stain of my father's shame this body is ravaged by disease and dispair- i just wanted to get away from there. who needs blood coarsing through veins.. this is the stain of my father's shame i'm tired of feeling so weary and old so tired so hopeless so lifeless and cold. i can almost mark the day when my soul began to fade away no longer scared of the ghosts i used to see- i'm one of them, they're just like me. i can almost mark the day when my hope began to fade away down on the road i saw a dead man. said, dead man, you look a lot like me. who needs blood. who needs shame. from my father all this came so i picked up the dead man, put him across my back. said, dead man, we're going to fade away into the day.. departed my soul again on a cold dark road.
i'm bleeding this time for no reason at all. i just miss the feeling of losing it all SO USED TO IT i am the cave of life and death and the blood that makes the clock tick i didn't ask for it felt so hollow had to dry up and out my skin to hold my insides in. I'm SO UNCOMFORTABLE but the skin holds the decay in. scraping the pins along the skin, release the decay within. i am the cave of life and death and the blood that makes the clock tick i didn't ask for it
find a lost man lost in his loss of control. find a lost man get lost in his loss of control. become useful for the use of the user. become the dog bone then chew your way out. her way into the game is to ride his wild dick. get close to me then maybe you can be me. FIRE find a lost man lost in his loss of control. forget your own. forget your own displacement. her way into the game is to ride his wild dick. get close to me then maybe you can be me. so base in the basement of your body..you stink. fill her so she can feel wanted, so she can fill a purpose. FIRE make a habit deceive me tell a fucked up story be showered with pity FIRE i feel nothing for you. i am nothing like you. bred a victim born again a warrior, now i just don't care about the war FIREfire is the colour of my eyes. burns straight to the inside.
on beaches of bone the siren sings. and you cover your ears, but it's the song you used to sing. there's no escaping as you are pulled into the sea... and he said, i'm gonna sail my ship away from this shore. can't feel my soul within me anymore. so he followed a song he heard within his heart. it was bound for disaster right from the start. he's gonna get it after just one day into his journey he was well off course- gave in to the easy way out. then he came to his senses, towed in a line of regret. but it was too late- he was caught in her net. he's gonna get it woe is me. well, i asked for it. this is what i deserve. well, i asked for it... wait till we get outta here, he yelled to the captain. then we'll get our freedom back. i'm trapped in the stare, he said. i've gotta get my soul back. woe is me.well, i asked for it. this is what i deserve i can't take my eyes off of her. if i can't have her no one can, because i'm the man. woe is me.well, i asked for it. this is what i deserve i'm gonna wring your neck, gonna wring your neck i'm gonna gonna wring your neck neck neck.. now the ship's going down. we'll wreck upon the rocks, and we'll be fed upon. woe is me. there's no escaping i'm scared and i want outta here, but i can't turn the ship back. woe is me.there's no escaping i take full responsibility, he begged to the captain. i couldn't keep my dick in my pants. there's no escaping.. on beaches of bone the siren sings. and you cover your ears but it's the song you used to sing. there's no escaping as you are pulled into the sea.
... in all this time i have learned that no one speaks my language. i learned long ago that i walk alone. i don't believe in me what can i say, two days dark and grey, and not much different from yesterday. i hate what i am, not much more pleased with what i've become. used to close the door and sleep away the days i don't believe in you what can i say, time is the enemy. it makes me empty. it is the thief of me.. so i went to the big door and asked the old man for a favor SHOW ME A BRIGHTER DAY down here in this mud where i'm stuck felt a ghost of myself running away SHOW ME A BETTER WAY i hate what i am. not much more pleased with what i've become. used to close the door and sleep away the days, but i've come to face the day when my childhood was taken away. these movements of displacement say: yesterday will never be back again. build a wall around inside out. i won't let me out. i won't let me in. caught up to my knees in mistakes.
seething in this red world i am nothing. thrown to the roadside i carry the death of the desert on my skin. have you looked into these eyes, feel the cracks in my hands.. from soul to skin i am dry and i am alone i eat gravel, shakes in my stomach to drown the voices in my head. the sun's too far away and you don't notice. crawling, i am worthless and i am alone ...one and two and i see two faces below me and i see yours in both, but one is open the other is closed... there is no dignity, there is no grace, and i am alone seething in this red world i am nothing. sold to a false hope, now i just float along in this dead ocean there is no dignity, there is no grace and i am alone in this dead ocean.
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Deathshead Extermination
lay me down here, i've already dug my grave i'm ready..i'm not living anyway i die in silence-i'm killing to tell the truth you destroy to meet your needs i'm dying to speak to you no way out no way out. and you are more alive than me. no way out no way out i open my eyes to see your darkness surrounds me diseased by your own hand, wretched man you crowd the shadows of this tomb i occupy leave me this your disease - i despise your passivity no way out no way out. the soul is mine, and i've burned it already it's dead and it's empty. no way out no way out I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE OF THE SWORD but this is where it ends laying down my sword bowing down my head i'm empty. i'm weary. i'm disappearing. I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE OF THE SWORD i wear this armour (mask) to hide me away from you it's silver and white and it's melding into my bones i've got this darkness in me no way out you need something i can't see no way out so unattached and unafraid i am a child of rage
i'm so cold. nothing on the inside. so burn me so cold. no one to hold. so burn this body i'm not feeling anymore. chilling, now i'm turning to stone. so burn this wretched body angel ambrace this disheveled wretch. i am the thief who hides the light beneath the filth of burning fingers smothered under not quite drowning reaching over, not quite living this is the gravedigger who throws his own body beneath the sh*t you tread carry me there, regret the life tarry onward running away calloused these ribs hold no more than hollowness- a hole dug as my grave, though i'm buried inside my head. already dead to your touch, to your light. your eyes march forward with condemnation.. feel this solitude burn with me.
i am part of the gate. cold hard rusted keeping the prisoner inside. i am just an outline... disease starting down so deep eating its way out. this is where it begins (secret captive sin) in a single rod of the iron gate rusted and no longer serving its purpose i curve my posture, veil the reflections of comprehension in eyes and breathe... and watch them participate in the movement of the play while i am welded into the gate to watch them marching onward... i am just an outline... travel onward through crevice of shallow space catch a breath crawl onward travel onward through crevice of shallow space catch a breath crawl onward searing in this i die, in the openness of wound.. i am part of the gate. i am cold, i am rusted. i am the prisoner inside.
denial of something you are the only statue left let the games begin... cold and solid your stone is almost stronger than let the games begin...i am the child of your emptiness, pieces stitched together with your bitterness. you're standing by yourself you don't understand the mystery let the games begin... i cannot feel, you never taught me that. kill me and hold me and break me from falling. i'm feeling colder than- kill me and hold me and break me from falling. i'm turning colder than-tearing away to reveal nothing inside to fill the need-it's all now...breaking away from your stone
methodology
has the light become part of the machinery? has the hand become part of the disease? has the body become the unwilling vessel? hahahaha how simple to peel away the skin and cut away the flesh. to discard and dispose or preserve of brain, vertricle, heart, lungs..to be left with bones... stitching the pieces of appendage of directed sight and speech. dictating placement of footsteps and embrace. SERVE MY DESTINY SERVE MY PROPHECY SERVE MY FUTURE SERVE MY FUTURE the master man maker; twitching the thread of a thigh bone, twisting the stitch of a wrist moving toward its destiny... SERVE MY DESTINY/PROPHECY/ FUTURE beading the twinkle of an eye to shine on only one truth. casting a lock of hair meant to strangle the last bit of hope. YOU ARE THE MASTER YOU ARE THE DOLL MAKER YOU ARE THE SLAVE CREATOR string them up to teach them your language YOU ARE THE MASTER YOU ARE THE SLAVE CREATOR hahaha an individual with choices to make you are not. you merely play into my hands, the web i weave. i twist you in like a fly. and you no longer think. and you no longer feel. and this is the dance you do. and this is the dance you do. building the confines of trust and obedience, housing the weakness of winged spirits and capture the mystery of otherness. YOU ARE THE MAN MAKER YOU ARE THE WILL BREAKER YOU ARE THE LIFE TAKER cage them up to keep them from falling out of line puppet strings begin to twist. a master hand..do you know who i am? SERVE MY DESTINY. SERVE MY PROPHECY. SERVE MY FUTURE. this garden breeds the yellow pestilence of wicked fingers at work among the living. branches are broken for posture and structure of spineless cloth sacks of arms and legs and face and neck of the master's creation.
(This Is My Favorite Song, And It Is Dedicated To Ivo)
i want to hate you. i want to knife you. i want to kill you. you made me this. you ended me this way. i live in this house in the name of suffering. i am the darkness. i live in the river, but i can't get myself clean- i'm as tainted as a bloody fucking broken bottle. you made me this. you ended me this way. i am dead. i am numb. and i walk in this world of the living. i am weary of this world. in my life. i fuck the hours of death. and i blindfold you. with the blackness of my breath. i want to hate you. i want to knife you. i want to keep you away from me. this is me. what you did to me. this is my life, this is what i do to you. this is you. i piss all over you. this is me, you cannot break me. i've already broken myself, i've already buried myself. i will destroy you. i'll kill the beast in you. i am going to hate you. i am going to knife you. i am going to kill you. i hate you. now i am this. now you've ended me this way. now i am this. now you've ended me this way.
imagine to set one fire burn out the infection spread the ruin end the tyrrany i saw you shut out the light tape the black fabric over your eyes and this is the way you see there's a war going on insde me let me go down... your diseased hand touches my mouth and the words and fingers rot and curl and wither there's a hollowness that festers there let me go down... i'm in the need to cut you to pieces. twist the lids of your blinded vision. i'm in the need to dismember the ruinous joints of you i'm in the need for slaughter- i've got the taste of blood on my tongue... picking at the skin offering no protection i'm bared down to the wires leave me this tarnished key to lock and silence i need to be filled up with light hope is sunken like my blackened eyes i've lost this breath withering solace the ghost came to carry me home...
i think i'm rotting on the inside. way down deep inside my soul.. i've built this little coffin that i live in every day. i peek out every day or so to see those ghosts at play. i've got my knife right by my side. i keep it warm, i hold the blade. i want to keep watch, keep hold.. for when they come to take my soul away. i've got this fear living inside me. it keeps me crippled and cold. like a child i lie frozen. i hope these arms won't reach out and take hold. there's blood on my face it keeps me warm at night..
i am not what you think you see. one of the hunted. i am a ghost living in this walking death. one of the hunted. i am game to the most vicious prey. one of the hunted... sunrise and deathset, mind rots in to capture the soul. cage me, suck the life from my veins. swallow your own breath, this is my fist in your gut. collapsing now, this is the sound of my cracking bones. no insides left in this body-i've let 'em all slip away. can't find the right sustenance-don't need it anyway. i sleep in this bed of misery. and i wake paralyzed underneath the shadows. i have no face, only the scar of your hatred. this womb leaves me as one of the hunted. i am the fire burning in the hollow land. i walk in the battle underneath your empty pretense of pain. and i'll wear to the world my gravestone...this womb leaves me as one of the hunted. i am one of the hunted.
now just where the fuck have i gone. the days feel so old and cracked and your eyelids close-you shut me out. got run over by your words today, and everyone's a hazy shade of gray. and i don't know who i am anymore, don't know where i'm coming from, don't know where i'm going to but i kinda want to hate you. i'm screaming till my bones break, but you swear you didn't even hear a whisper. i'm always left to pick up your pieces. a room of gold and you see red. what is there left that i can believe in...this body so useless so dead and so ugly your eyes so disgusting so hating degrading.. a room of gold and you see red. what is there left that i can believe in... now just where the fuck have i gone. the days feel so old and cracked and your eyelids close-you shut me out. and just where did i get lost. where did you go and where have i gone. it's back to me again. hair as fire. eyes as sharp as switchblades breathing death into my arms. fingers dripping scarlet.. what is there left that i can beleieve in.. i am so numb. i can't feel anything anymore. i am trapped in a shell and i can't feel anything anymore. i am so numb. ican't feel anything anymore.i can't feel me. i can't see me. i can't feel me..
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8 Convulsions
I've got this hole in my head And it keeps getting bigger And I'm afraid if it doesn't stop... You're gonna be able to see what's going on inside my head And then maybe you'll lock me away in a room all by myself And I know I can't win that battle... There's something evil in this head of mine It's trying to eat a hole that one in my head So it can have room for itself So it can destroy the rest of me. ...angel angel down we fall together All alone my souls starts to die Disintegration I've given away all I never had Now my wings are burning rusting wire I'm turning empty growing colder still...
and our eyes meet and of course you say something stupid: "Yo, Red, yo baby... I like that, I'd fuck that... look at those tits, ooh that ass, hey pussy I'll fuck you and your girlfriend, let me suck your clit, hey cunt, I'm talking to you, look at me bitch, I'm talking to you. Hey cunt, I'll kill you bitch. Don't you walk away from me pussy. I said I'm talking to you bitch... Where's my fucking present baby." Don't violate me Don't give a fuck what you have to say Don't violate me So you think you've got me fingered I think you're looking like a fool Dumb fucking fool Can't violate me You're full of nothing but shit You're knees will never rise But don't take it out on me This cunt is mine Don't need your dick in me boy Can't get it up enough for me boy I can get it if I want it Don't need you screaming in my face Can't rape this Don't need your dick Don't need your shit In me boy So don't think you're doing me any favours as you stand there whistlin' at me like I'm some kind of fucking dog who's supposed to come after you waggin' my tail. Just don't think your doin' me any favors 'cos I think you're a piece of weak shit. You're gonna burn, and I'm the gonna do it to ya'... You dumb fuck
This is what you think of me, It's time to face your bigotry: "Bitch dyke slut whore".. I know you really want me to give you more. And now you're gonna show me how to get fucked by an asshole. Even though you're afraid of me While you crouch there raping me, I know you must be thinking more. And you'll say how beautiful I am as I walk past you on the street, And when I ignore you you'll say, "Bitch dyke slut whore - You're ugly. You're so fucking ugly." This is what you think of me, It's time to face your bigotry Now.
Hey now where did you go. I thought I was holding it all But there's nothing but air baby. Fall into my breath and chase away my fears Only don't leave me so hollow. I sit back and look at this thing I've become. Am I really so twisted Or are these the things you've filled me up with. But trusting what you say I truly am not worth a thing. So lend me your crown And I'll bear your pain The king has gone away. So stand on my shoulders I'll carry your weight. Fill me up with your negativity. And your wrath is just for me So I see It's me... And I'm almost dead But sometimes I think there may be hope But then I realize that I'm just so hollow.
Standing all alone I see you smile, And it tears right through me. So what good were you for anyway. Don't know can't seem to find a way to let go... And the candles burning bright. Now come into my darkness. It's kinda safe here Don't have to think about my bruises And all the shit that's in your eyes... I'm goin' down. Inside your eyes I see the lies The ones that tear you up inside. You're goin' down...
Hey old man your face makes me so sad. Where you gonna sleep tonight Wish I could give you something. But I walk away. So don't ask me for anything. Ain't got nothin' to give anymore... Home. Where did it go... Hey old man you're lookin' thin today. Don't call after me Don't got nothin' to give you Or me Or anyone. Just a fucking bitter bottle Just drink your fucking bottle so there... And drink of me as well... Home. Where did it go... You and me We're a perfect match I'm a piece of shit And you're a tired piece of ass Oh it all comes down to one pile of darkness... Hey old man, I'm sorry.
Sweet sweet sunshine... So where are you now. I thought I was holding a hand, But you mother fucker... I fucked you and ran. But don't leave me here unbroken. I'm trying to shatter me Till there's nothing left but the rain Sweet sweet sunshine... So where are you now. Tear down my half. Now he's your mother fucker, But you're inside me And I can't get you out. There's something in me That makes you fear yourself And I can see you ripping to pieces and pieces And pieces of shit fall from my mouth I'm full of it I've tried to break myself But I just won't die So if you can try just start with my bones Then fuck my insides out I can't stand it I can't take it anymore Where is my sweet sunshine There's only black and empty Break me... Sweet sunshine I hate all this shit that is me, I'm trying to destroy it. Sweet sweet sunshine I'm broken. Sweet sunshine Don't let me end this way.
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Saturday, April 3 @ Valentines in Albany, New York @8pm
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Karyn on the cover of Juggernaut
Karyn on the cover of Savage Tattoo
My signed Karyn Crisis artwork
The band
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© 1997 balcala@nycap.rr.com