Old Man Jamal

Old Man Jamal is the most infamous charachter in all of Hamilton High School's english writing. He has a military career, a respected drug manufacturing industry, and many little subtilties that make him a very cool old man.

Old Man Jamal is born

Old Man Jamal was born one day in english class. Back then, the "back corner" gang was complete, and the back corner was plentiful with jokes and laughter. Life was good, and spirits were high. The assignment of the day was to write descriptive sentences, and the assignment was, as always, taken as a joke. Then it happened. One of us (who shall remain nameless for security reasons) wrote a sentence: "Old Man Jamal cooks the bomb crack in his smelly apartment." We all laughed, were yelled at by the english teacher, and laughed again. Old Man Jamal was born, and we agreed to try to put him into every essay, sentence, paragraph and plot summary (HA!) that we wrote.

Old Man Jamal gets his equipment

It was, of course, always assumed that "bomb crack" would be brewed in a bathtub. The process was a little hazy, though, until one day when a conversation about Old Man Jamal errupted in the back corner of the U.S. History class. The teacher began to talk about Ben Franklin (the antichrist -- email me about that one) and his inventions. When the Franklin Stove came up, it was obvious! Old Man Jamal uses a Franklin Stove and a bathtub to cook the bomb crack!

Old Man Jamal makes lieutenant

As part of our english class, we were required to read a book called "A Farewell to Arms." While reading this book, we were required to rewrite the ending to test our writing skills. There it was -- the perfect chance to write about Old Man Jamal. In my alternate ending, Henry (don't worry if you haven't read the book) was rescued by a certain Lt. O. M. Jamal. So began the military career of Old Man Jamal. The story also contained a tragic end: "The last he saw of O. M. Jamal, he was sailing away on a raft; a Franklin Stove on one end, a bathtub on the other. He was yelling about bombs, then about crack, and then about bomb crack."

The Jamal Phenomenon

Since the creation of Old Man Jamal, he has become a wide-spread topic of many writing assignments. Sources from the inside tell me that at least 3 out of 10 essays written are about Old Man Jamal, and he is gaining ground fast. With strong support from the Junior Class, he has begun to spread to the Senior and Sophomore classes. Support Old Man Jamal! If you attend school, write about him! If not, write your Senator (or something...)! Email me when you do so(russell@pe.net)! Old Man Jamal will live, but he needs your support!

Old Man Jamal Forever!

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