People often ask me: 'how will you remember the great David Marroni when he has passed on?' That is something I have given much thought to in the past fifteen minutes. I will remember David as a keen intellect, a man who dared to discover all that this world had in store. A man who wanted to learn, and by learning change the environment around him.

This travesty of a website is NOT how I will remember David Marroni. It is symbolic of the death of David's brain. As he can no longer reason things out (for I have stripped him of this ability) he can no longer learn new tools to help him in this life. And because he cannot learn HTML on his own, he uses a page-builder and slaps that drek together.

To understand WHY I am so upset, you must first understand some backstory of David Marroni. He doesn't exist. Much like Brad Pitt's fictional Tyler Durden in Fight Club, David Marroni is a small segment of my own personality.

I created him out of the clear blue one day to supplement my own ego... little did I know he would try to usurp control and become the dominant personality. That is when I created Roy Ayres, the balance between Marroni and myself.

For a time it was fine. The Roy persona fulfilled my need for slacking, I fulfilled my own creative endeavors, and David was essentially our brain. He made sure we didn't fail high school. In fact he became our valedictorian. Or should I say... he helped me to become valedictorian.

But in a barfight this summer, I was forced to strip him of any and all higher reasoning. And for that I am truly sorry. But it cannot be undone. David Marroni... your creator mourns your passing.