Finale
A
month later...
"We
should come here again, Kathryn," Chakotay said, as they walked up a short
path to the top of the hill. "Megiddo is beautiful. No wonder Raël missed
it so much..."
Kathryn,
a little breathless as she reached the top, stood next to him and looked over
the undulating countryside. "His parents are wonderful, very kind and
dignified in their grief," she replied, not looking at him. "They
really appreciated that you could tell them so much more of their son. Raël was
very talented."
"I
know. I don't think there was a man or woman among us who didn't realise that
their desires were merely wishful thinking. I - I know that I've always wanted
to be better at what I could do with my art, but Kathryn, it was never an
obsession."
"It
wasn't, Chakotay. But I think too, that you had to come to the understanding
that no creative works should be hidden or..."
"Destroyed?"
"Yes.
You have all lost the enhanced abilities but even that may have been something
Mirah only made you think was additional when it wasn't. You were always able to
make that stoneflower you sent me. Only, you never believed wholeheartedly that
you could create a work of art which could transcend the extraordinary."
She
could see Chakotay weighing her words. What Mirah did was create the illusion
that they were gifted when they already had the ability.
"It's
belief, and believing in yourself..."
Chakotay
glanced at her and smiled. "You won't be disappointed if I don't work on
one for at least a year?" he asked.
She
wouldn't be, but as she looked at her husband, Kathryn wondered if Chakotay was
aware of how his eyes glowed, how they exuded the old, inner excitement when a
new idea grabbed him. He could be designing a stone
flower next week, or he could be working on a brilliant new evasive maneuver. It
was the same. He was creative, and whatever area of his work demanded it, that
would receive the full measure of his creativity.
"No...no,"
she replied. "I won't be disappointed."
She
heard him give a sigh of contentment. He pulled her closer and they sat down on
the grassy knoll, looking over the vista of the first city of Megiddo in the
distance. Her hand rested lightly on his shoulder. It was a gesture of
assurance. Just below them, a shebre scurried
across, vanishing so quickly that Kathryn blinked and wondered if she'd actually
seen the furry animal. They really were like Earth's mongoose, she thought.
Chakotay
remained quiet, his gaze fixed at a point in the distance. He looked deeply
reflective. She gave a mental shrug. He'd fallen into periods of contemplation
in the last month and she left him alone then. She could see how he resented the
intrusion by the way he either didn't acknowledge the light peck on the cheek
she gave him, or the way he twisted his face
or flinched when she touched his shoulder. After that she left him alone,
and went about her tasks as if nothing happened, keeping a semblance of normalcy
in the confines of the shuttle. Later, after many
hours, even days had passed, he
would tell her about it and apologise for shutting her out. Then he'd hold her
close to him, murmuring into her hair how he loved her and how he missed her.
She understood him, understood that he had been through a traumatic trial where
the very thought of home and family brought him pain. He told her how he had
braved the challenge during the day when he allowed memories of her and their
home to swamp him, although the process left him unconscious on a few occasions.
She
had seen some of the works of the other artists, especially Amrah's clay
figures. She had seen Amrah's children as if they were alive, the sorrow in
their faces so realistic that she had wanted to weep at their loss. Amrah had
been punished many times and it was Chakotay who had told her, in deeply
compassionate tones, how he had helped Amrah recover time after time. Amrah,
as well as all the others who were on the Kelso ships, had made contact
with her and Chakotay to thank them. The last time she had seen Amrah, the woman
had told her that getting used to freedom was not easy. The conditioning had
been harsh, but she was adjusting.
Chakotay
had to adjust, and that was proving more complex
than she had anticipated He never kept anything from her though,
and she was thankful that he didn't bottle up whatever ailed him. Then
they'd talk earnestly, sometimes 'til the early hours of the
morning.
Judging
by the rate he was recovering, she wondered how the other artists were doing
now. Most of them had reached their homeworlds already. If Chakotay was still
struggling with the nature of his incarceration, she thought that they
couldn't be doing any better either. Amrah's admission was proof of that.
But like Chakotay, they were with their people, and
there could be no better healer than the love and support of family.
The
first three days of their journey back, Chakotay slept almost round the clock.
If she had thought that they could seal their love with lovemaking immediately,
it was aborted when she saw how he needed sleep more than he needed to make love
to her. She grinned to herself. She
remembered she was still talking to him when he fell asleep. The time would come
when they'd make love. She had been patient before and she could be again. They
had had such a precious short period of intimacy after their return to Earth
before he went missing. The three day marathon sleep, during
which Chakotay woke only in spurts, stagging to
the bathroom and back, did him a world of good.
She
remembered the fourth night with tenderness, a smile forming on her lips as the
memories rushed to her. Chakotay had waited for her to engage autopilot, then
wrapped her in his arms.
"Kathryn,
there are two bunks here on opposite sides, fixed tightly against the
bulkheads..." He murmured the words softly, her ears tingling from his
breath. She arched her neck, stifling a little moan as his lips trailed against
her skin. Her whole body tingled at the touch. She had wondered about the narrow
bunks herself when she entertained thoughts of sharing a bed with Chakotay. But
Chakotay was inventive, and she was going to allow him
to come up with a novel idea.
"There
wasn't much that stopped us before," she whispered huskily.
"I
think the conning station needs protection from us."
Kathryn
pictured herself writhing under him on top or against the conn. She negated the
idea, mentally agreeing with him. She had turned in his arms, groaning
as she melted into him, unable to function normally. She had been without
his burning touches for more than three years. Her body was going into overdrive
as he pressed her close. She gave small gasps as Chakotay nipped her ear. She
tried to move away from the searching lips, wanting only a moment to think, but
her head was spinning madly. She was giddy and Chakotay was urgently hunting her
skin with a moist, heated tongue and burning lips..
"We
can make love here..." she gasped as his hand roved over her body. He
paused briefly as she indicated the floor.
"Not
the bare floor. We need a bed, Kathryn. Any suggestions?" he countered. Her
knees were weak as she sank down. Chakotay went down with her, bracing her
against him while they were on their knees, dropping light kisses on her closed
eyelids. Her mind was whirling. She didn't want to think.
"No...
No ideas. You think," she ordered him. The next moment he
released her so suddenly that he had to grab her again when she keeled
over. He lifted her and made her sit on one of the bunks. Then he went to the
replicator. He was there for a few minutes, his orders given softly so that she
hardly heard what he said. She had been too preoccupied anyway by the slow
removal of her clothes and the anticipation of their first lovemaking in more
than three years. When Chakotay turned to face her, she enjoyed his surprised,
but silent appraisal.
"What's
that?" she asked, frowning as she saw
a blue square object in his hands.
"You'll
know soon enough," he drawled. "Patience, sweetheart. I mean to make
love with my wife in style..."
Kathryn
smiled again at the memory of that night. They'd slept on the bright blue
inflatable mattress ever since. Just let the air out in the morning, then
inflate it when they were ready for bed in the
evenings. It had been a good month, despite Chakotay's lapses into deep reverie.
Some nights he had been desperate, his lovemaking urgent and wild, but she had
met him with her own needs, showing him that she , too, had been hungry for
three years. Then they'd fall into one another's arms, exhausted.
They
took turns piloting the Oregon, Chakotay doing Gamma shift. During the day while
she was at the helm, Chakotay studied all the new developments of the last three
years. Advancements had been made in all aspects of Federation technology,
shipbuilding, and new treaties concluded with formerly hostile worlds. Chakotay
had given her a wide grin when he tried on his uniform, which
she had prepared while still on the USS Pearston. She had been highly optimistic
that she would find him.
Chakotay
soaked in the new data. Most times he would be at it for hours and there would
be soft music playing, which he found soothing.
He had raged the first day when he started catching up on lost years, and she
had been troubled by the intensity of it.
He
had banged his palms against the console, cursing in frustration. She had jumped
up from the conn and rushed to his side.
"I've
lost so much...so much!" he burst out. "I can't get in
everything!"
"Chakotay..."
Her voice had been firm. "You don't have to get in everything at once. You
have time. Take it easy. You know you can do it in chunks. Right now, you're
running through the database haphazardly..."
His
eyes had been wild when he bit back heatedly, "Do you know what it is like
to have no books? Nothing... Nothing to read, to sharpen my mind, to..."
She had grabbed the sides of his head, and tried to calm him by forcing
him to look her in the eyes, to listen to her.
"I
know, honey. Believe me, I know... You were in darkness - "
"No
poetry. Except one or two I memorised before everything went black..."
"Chakotay
- "
"Nothing!
We were all dead..."
"No,
you were not. You created the most beautiful sculptures in the universe. Even
when you were in darkness, you created light."
He
stared at her with wild eyes. His breathing was ragged as slowly the anger
seeped from him, and the wildness left his eyes. He would continue then,
devising a system by which he studied data in a more methodical manner, by
subject, by theme. At night Chakotay read books or poetry at his leisure. He
still had a way to go, but now he had
reined in his impatience. One evening he looked up sharply when the soft strains
of two violins filled the shuttle.
"Bach's
Concerto for Double Violins..." he said softly. When she looked at him,
surprised, he added, "I played
it often on the Serengeti..."
"It's
beautiful, isn't it? You know it's one of my favourites," she replied.
"Yes,
I remember the first time I heard it and you told me it reminded you of
us..."
"I
did..."
She
had been so glad that his memories were untarnished by his three year absence.
Chakotay had worked steadily through the database literature, making a
mini-catalogue of books he wanted to read.
"I
found something," Chakotay said one day. His voice was animated.
"You
sound excited. What is it?".
"Just
listen, will you? It's a sonnet I just found - "
"The
one by Giacomo Leopardi?"
"No.
I know that one by heart. This is something that suits Bach's Concerto for
Double Violins which you said - "
"Reminds
me of us."
"Aye.
Listen..." A few seconds
later, after she had engaged autopilot, she turned the chair to face him while
he read her the poem. His voice was soft, reverent, deep and melodious as he
began to read...
In
perfect timbre, velvet soft the bows
did praise the strings in rarest counterpoint,
the melody so beautiful that God
himself with mercy sometimes could anoint
the two; while thin and high the first did climb
the spiral stair to heaven; touched sublime
with pride the second did in earthly tones
remind the first that harmony in prime
surround exists and only then survives
the onslaught of a discordant chord
designéd so to sack the balance struck
and fragile frets collapse but painfully restored
While heaven's music sounded forth, the knell
alarmed and braved the arrows sent from hell.
It was so pertinent to their lives, their relationship and marriage that she wanted to cry. Her eyes did in fact fill with tears, but it was his voice that added depth to the import of the words.
"It's very beautiful."
"Written by...anonymous... Would you believe it..."
That night they had made passionate love on their air bed. After that, Chakotay had been more systematic in his studies, not allowing himself to become stressed at the backlog.
Strangely, he hadn't mentioned or looked at all at his art works in the last month. All the pieces were packed carefully and stored. It was as if Chakotay was no longer interested in them. But she knew him, and knew that he needed the distance, seeing the stone flowers as reminders of his ordeal and not as expressions of his very soul. The time would come that he'd look at them with pride. She was patient and she believed he was too. It was just time he needed.
Today was their last day on Megiddo and as Chakotay desired, they would come back here for vacation. It was a good place to be, full of silences and peace, with so many possibilities to ply and expand his craft.
He was no longer wearing the visor. After his marathon sleeping session during which he only woke sporadically, she had found an M-class planet where they could spend a couple of days. He had to adjust to sunlight and with the planet's atmosphere mimicking Earth's and its weather patterns pretty much that of Elora, they had landed on Moravia. Realising that all the prisoners would probably need protection, she had devised the visors for them. Chakotay had worn the visor the entire first day. He had been good-natured about it, not seeing it as an encumbrance.
"After all, Geordi la Forge has to wear his all the time."
"This one can be adjusted. You'll soon throw it away..."
"Tomorrow, I'll do it."
He had been a little terse and she knew it was his frustration at not being able to see normally in bright light.
"Only in small increments," she cautioned. He had pursed his lips, then sighed as he battled to control himself. On a sigh he had pulled her into his arms and held her close to him.
"It's hard to be patient," he murmured into her hair.
But he had tried and he celebrated the first day without the visor by kissing her soundly and demanding they make love immediately.
"Here, in the plaza?"
"Um, well, I suppose the house will have to do."
"And it has an open roof deck," she suggested.
"Perfect. Love in the open under a glaring sun. Remind me to build us an ancient Greek abode..."
It had been a perfect two days on Moravia. Although Chakotay sometimes became melancholic and almost sick, he had recovered quickly and they'd spend the evening just talking.
*
"Hey..."
Kathryn blinked, realised that Chakotay had been staring at her probably for several minutes.
"Sorry."
"Don't be, Kathryn. I've been a little detached. It will get better, I swear."
She rested her head against him and he took her hand in his and gripped it tightly.
"We leave tomorrow. Mirah's trial is tomorrow..."
Chakotay took a deep breath. It was the last hurdle. He would have to look again at the woman who had kept him from everything he loved. But Raël's parents needed closure, and they needed to see that justice was served. Mirah was from a planet at the outer reaches of the quadrant. It had been a revelation after the Kelsoans had launched an inquiry. Her people wanted nothing to do with her. She had been guilty of abducting people on two occasions before and had brought her people into disrepute.
Whatever the outcome, whatever they both felt about capital punishment, the law of Megiddo had to be upheld. Chakotay must have thought about it. Since early in the morning he had been quiet, knowing that he had to face Empress Mirah again. But it was a barrier he had to cross.
"I just want to get home, Kathryn. To Earth and to Indiana and to you."
"Magnus's ship, the Pearston will be in the Lorep System - "
"Magnus?
Magnus Rollins, formerly of Voyager?"
"Got deservedly promoted to Lieutenant-Commander, then Captain. He was commissioned to command the USS Pearston. "
"We have to give the shuttle back to him?" Chakotay asked, a twinkle in his eyes as he helped her up and they made their way slowly down the slope.
"We get to keep our bed."
She looked up into his smiling face, thrilled beyond measure to see the shadows gone. She pressed into him.
"I love you, Chakotay."
"Thank you, Kathryn. It's that love that kept me alive. Now we can think about starting our own little family." She stopped in her tracks as Chakotay stared at her, frowning. The last time they had hinted about children and babies had been the night before he left for the Serengeti. Chakotay's face grew pale. He had wanted to wait then. Now he looked worried. "What's wrong, Kathryn?" he asked, sounding afraid.
She took his hand and guided him to her stomach. A light dawned in his eyes.
"We've already started, Chakotay."
**************
THE END
Author's Notes:
The sonnets:
"The infinite" was written by 13th century poet Giacomo Leopardi
"Concerto for double violins" was written by "vanhunks".
Some factoids about names:
I chose the name Megiddo, a Bible city. "One of the cities to which Solomon assigned forced labour." It was my husband who pointed out the Greek derivative for the name of this city: har megiddon - Armageddon.
I chose "Magnus" for Lieutenant Rollins. I can't think of him by any other name. He's been Magnus since my first fanfic written in 1998.
Raël
- In memory of Raël Mercuur, one of the finnest and most talented young stage
actors in Cape Town. Died in a motor vehicle accident.
"Nu'ara" - A derivative from the Arabic "Nur&quuot; which means "light".
"Mirah", "Amrah" - Little girl across the road is called "Amirah".
"Kelso" - Designer label for clothing in Cape Town..
"Danila" - The name of the character in the orginal fairytale, "The Stone Flower".
"Lieutenant-Commander "Hort" - working in a botanical facility, the shortened name we give to "horticulturists".
****