The Stone Flower

a fairytale

by

vanhunks

Author's note:

Sometime in October of 2003 I was listening to my favourite classical radio station and the presenter mentioned the ballet "The Stone Flower" by Prokofiev in passing, while preparing to play something from a Delibes ballet. I was instantly intrigued by the title for I've never heard of a ballet or story by that name. The title alone suggested something aloof and beautiful. A routine online search led me to discover that Prokofiev wrote the ballet based on a Russian fairytale, "The Stone Flower". Interested as I was reading the story I thought I could put Kathryn and Chakotay in it if I wrote one based loosely on the original fairytale. So "The Stone Flower" was born.

My story is written as a fairytale, and I ask readers to expect some magic in the story, or things happening for which there are no logical explanations.

Disclaimer: Voyager, Kathryn and Chakotay are the property of Paramount/Viacom. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rating: PG-13

Acknowledgements:

Gilly Hoyle.I only gave the specifications and Gilly did the artwork for the beautiful stone flowers.

Mary Stark. I asked, and Mary said "sure, I'll work on it". Thank you for clearing space on your desk to take up this project. I worked through all her nitpicks and mostly nodded in agreement. At other times I wanted to hide under the desk, come up seconds later for air and do the correction.

Sheila. My muse, my friend. Thank you.

SUMMARY: Shortly after their return to the Alpha Quadrant, Chakotay disappears mysteriously and he is declared missing in action, presumed dead. Then an old woman crosses Kathryn's path and tells her something.

THE STONE FLOWER

PROLOGUE

Admiral Hays admired Kathryn Janeway. He had never formed particular attachments to any person, and the friends he had were men and women who had been his colleagues for decades. Although slow to make a deep friendship, but when he did, a friend could be assured of his trust and loyalty.

Because he had become fond of her, he knew that the news he had just given her must have been a shattering blow, yet she stood in front of him ( an admiral like himself ) and only the merest flicker of emotion in her eyes revealed how deeply she felt.

"I am so sorry, Kathryn. You knew that it would come to this, didn't you?"

Kathryn Janeway shook her head and squared her shoulders imperceptibly. It was this severe coolness, the little twitch of her lower lip, the supreme effort of receiving his news with too much dignity, which told him more about her warring emotions than she let on.

"It's officially two years, Admiral Hays. I expected an announcement sooner rather than later. It's ironic, isn't it? We were lost in the Delta Quadrant for seven years and there were times many had given up hope that we'd still be alive. Now...this..."

"We've searched everywhere - "

"I know. At this point, I still hope that he's alive and that someday he'll return..."

"Kathryn..." Hays stepped closer and gripped her shoulders. "The Federation is simply following procedure. You need closure. If you don't, you'll keep on hoping. I need my ablest colleague on my team, you know."

Kathryn Janeway closed her eyes briefly, then fixed her gaze on him again. To Hays, she looked lost for a moment, the shadows playing in her expressive eyes.

"Thank you, Admiral Hays. Chakotay is listed as missing in action and considered dead. Only months after our return home...to be lost somewhere again..." She gave a deep sigh, and for the first time since she had entered his office, he saw her reserve slip when a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I am so sorry, Kathryn."

"He's dead. My husband is dead. I have to accept that, yet I can't stop hoping."

**** 

"I thought your sister Phoebe might accompany you tonight, Admiral," Magnus Rollins said. He was greying at the temples and looked distinguished in his dress uniform. His smile was warm, but Kathryn found the concern that flashed briefly over his features a contrast to his welcoming smile.

"Phoebe declined this year, Magnus. She's in Paris, working on a commissioned painting for the President of the Federation."

"A very important project, then."

"I don't mind. In any case, the new generation of Voyager  children are growing up so fast and multiplying prodigiously. Everyone is eager to introduce their latest offspring to me!"

Magnus laughed. He was alone too and somehow, his presence gave her a little boost. The anniversary celebrations always left her a little gloomy. Everyone gathered to celebrate, glad to be back as a Voyager group again.

The first year there had been a little sombreness, an air of grief that hung in the air when she had read out the names of the crew who had died, who had served her during those seven long years with such great distinction and valour. She had not wanted to include Chakotay's name among that list then, clinging tenaciously to the hope that he'd return home soon. Lost, missing without a trace... It was difficult to understand just how an officer of Starfleet could go missing, his ship returning to Federation space without its captain.

Now, she knew that some were aware of the new status of Chakotay's disappearance. Magnus knew. On her recommendation he had been promoted to command his own vessel and had been informed by her when he enquired about a search. The search had been called off finally, after a little more than two years. Always a grave man, Rollins's understanding nod had helped lift her spirits that day. When he turned to look at her again, she wondered if her own sadness touched him, too. His wife had died in the year before they returned and his son James had been raised by his grandmother.

"Admiral - "

"Oh, Magnus, you can call me Kathryn. Let's not be too formal, shall we?"

Magnus smiled again. His smile reminded her of Chakotay. For a moment, searing pain shot through her; she had to resist a great urge to raise her hand and clutch wildly at her breast, to give vent to a crying rage .

"Kathryn, then. Look, nothing is written in stone, you know. Being listed missing in action and presumed dead means just that: presumed dead. For all we know he - "

"- may be alive somewhere... It's a hopeless thought, Magnus. I've tried to close myself off from hoping. What's left is a very cold reality. It's been three years - "

"You know they gave us up for dead, Kathryn, after two years. Yet many believed we were alive somewhere."

She nodded. It was the very thing she had told Admiral Hays. The irony of it. It was a  statement from Magnus that she had expected - something, anything that would corroborate her own flaring hope.

"I - " she started, then paused as she saw Tom Paris break away from his group at the far side of the hall. "It's been a difficult three years, Magnus. Something of what our own families went through waiting for us... I understand so much of it now. Chakotay and I... In the beginning, we - " She swallowed, the understanding look in his eyes encouraging her to open up. "You know our marriage was not a normal one..." she admitted to him, feeling relieved when the words came out.

"Maybe not at first, on Voyager."

She cast him a surprised glance, then frowned. Magnus touched her arm lightly, his eyes somber, yet knowing.

"Most senior crew knew, and others suspected," he said quietly. "You were too busy playing a part, if you'll forgive my saying it. I don't think anyone had any doubt why you married. Paris called it 'a useful charade'."

"Useful..."

"But you loved Chakotay. In the end it worked out. We were all glad it did. You belonged together..."

Belonged together...

A painful constriction of her heart again. A month before their return Chakotay had approached her to ask her to marry him. Even now, thinking about her reaction and his hidden agenda, she cringed. She had wanted to laugh at the way they seemed to face off in her quarters. He had looked thunderous, ready to strike at her. She stood, hands on her hips, ready to strike back.

"Marry me."

"Why, Chakotay?" she had asked. Why now? she always wondered.

"I love you, Kathryn." His reply had been short, an indication that he knew what he wanted to say. It was too pat, too emotionless, too well prepared. He had harboured feelings towards her, of that she had always been aware, but from the way the words had spurted from his mouth, she was certain it was premeditated. He had an agenda.

"Why, Chakotay?" she had asked again.

He had dropped his gaze, and if he weren't so tanned, she was certain that he was blushing.

"Seven of Nine - "

"Ah, Seven..." she repeated, her heart sinking.

"She has convinced herself that she is in love with me, Kathryn. I - "

"So marrying me would get her off your back?"

"Dammit, Kathryn!"

"Wouldn't any other unattached female on board have done?" Her words were laced with sarcasm and bitterness. Chakotay bit his lower lip as he tried to contain his anger.

"We're friends. I was hoping that - "

"I could help a friend in need? You say you love me, Chakotay, and in the same breath you want me to marry you to protect you from someone else?"

"Look, forget it, will you? I'll leave you alone. Seven is expecting me to propose to her within days. I didn't know what else to do..."

Apart from telling Seven the truth... Or hurt her fragile, newly acquired humanity and sensibility.

He looked so dejected when he turned to leave that she felt sorry for him. Why had her resolve to  turn down his proposal weakened at that point? What did he know of her own feelings? He didn't have to know. She was instantly worried about him and while she admired Seven of Nine, she thought that Chakotay's need to steer clear of the Borg meant that he knew he would never be happy with her and that he found her attentions unbearable. It was that knowledge, an admission he unwittingly made, that had softened her resolve.

"Wait..."

He had frozen in his tracks, then turned slowly to look at her with worried eyes.

"Kathryn...?"

"You love me, you said."

He had taken a few hesitant steps closer to her.

"I cannot deny what I've felt for too long," he had replied. "You?"

In her mind's eye she had seen Seven of Nine looking at Chakotay. In matters of the heart Annika Hansen had not yet developed a veneer of sophistication. Her artlessness lay open for anyone to see, for anyone to exploit... The way she looked at Chakotay... It was an unadulterated hunger, a worship that was too close to childish or teenage crushes to be anything with depth and understanding of a warrior's heart. Yet it stung. Kathryn remembered with an ache deep inside her how the knowledge, that he could return the Borg's feelings suddenly and inexplicably, hurt so much that she could die of the pain.

"I love you." She knew her voice had sounded hoarse, an edge of defeat to it. "Think I could make you happy?"

If she didn't know him so well, she would have mistaken his look for one of perplexity, an inability to comprehend the question as wholly unnecessary. But Chakotay had known the true depth and meaning of her words. She had as good as told him that Seven of Nine could never make him happy.

"Look, Kathryn. If you feel you need time, we can wait..."

His words had hung in the air. They had been friends so long. They had often touched, even shared a flirtatious kiss at times, but there had never been the kind of intimacy that marriage suggested. Many times she had fantasised about him, dreamed of being with him and thinking how making love with him would settle the peace in her heart once and for all. She had sublimated those fantasies into a structured existence, where  she paid homage to a Federation that was light-years away. It worked well, the tacit arrangement where Chakotay could remain her friend, where a light kiss or her hand caressing his cheek meant she cared about her first officer as an officer and gentleman. Suddenly she had felt - and he must have sensed it - a certain shyness, knowing that his proposal had come too suddenly and with too much baggage to plunge directly into sharing a bed.

She had nodded wordlessly. They would marry, but they would wait.

Seven of Nine had taken the news and adapted, even though at times Kathryn felt a great concern for the former Borg. She bore the disappointment well. Only once during an uncomfortable moment in which Kathryn accidentally stumbled upon Seven of Nine in a conversation with Chakotay, did Kathryn doubt the wisdom of what she and Chakotay had done. She had not questioned Chakotay about it and later he had told her that Seven of Nine was slowly coming to accept that he married Kathryn for love, that there was no turning back for him.

And so they joined their quarters, kept to their beds and she continued to love him as she knew that he must have loved her. They were together; the deep yearning to be a part of something miraculous was finally realised. She had rejoiced silently that she belonged to him, even if they hadn't consummated their union.

That had come the night before they entered Earth's orbit...

**

"Admiral?"

Kathryn blinked a few times as she became aware again of the bright light of the hall, of two concerned faces staring at her. Her thoughts were straying to her missing husband far too much these days.

"I - do forgive me, Tom, Magnus. It was just..."

"We understand, Admiral," Tom said. "We miss the big guy tonight..."

"As do I," she responded, smiling. "But now I order you to celebrate. Don't look so glum on my account."

Magnus bowed with a flourish.

"In that case would you care to dance then, Kathryn?"

"Wait!" said Tom. "Before you go off with Captain Rollins here, I've a message from my daughter. Says to tell her Aunt Kathryn to get a nice present when she goes to Surra next month."

Kathryn laughed, relieved that she was on even keel again.

"You tell her she's too young to make demands on an aunt. But I'll see what I can do."

"I hear you're on Rollin's ship then, Admiral."

"I am. Official diplomatic mission."

"I'll be in the Badlands. Good luck if we don't meet before then, Admiral."

"I'll probably need it. We're to negotiate an application from the Surran System to join the Federation."

"High powered stuff, I'd say."

Before she could respond to Tom, Magnus had whisked her to the middle of the floor.

*** 

"I remember when you were a little girl, Kathryn, that you could never stand still for two minutes together. You were always rushing about on your short little legs at warp speed." Gretchen Janeway shook her head as she surveyed Kathryn's room. PADDs were strewn about and contending haphazardly with items of clothing and her dress uniform. "I also seem to remember that you were far more organised than...this..."

Kathryn drew her attention away from a PADD that she held up, inspected briefly then placed  carefully in a small box before dropping it in the duffel. She looked at her mother. Gretchen noticed the heightened colour in her cheeks, the way Kathryn's eyes were alive. It was such a contrast to the constant shadows that had lurked in them almost since they returned home. She gave a little sigh as Kathryn straightened up and walked to where Gretchen had been standing in the doorway.

"Mother, I'm going to be away for six months - "

"I know, honey. You  seem driven suddenly, as if...as if..."

"As if what?"

"You think he may still be alive, Kathryn.  Sweetheart, the Federation declared him dead a year ago."

"There's no corpse, no trace of a molecule that carries his DNA, nothing, Mother. I can still hope, can't I?"

"You're wanting to use this mission to launch a search for Chakotay?"

Gretchen wanted to kick herself for not realising instantly what lay behind Kathryn's sudden resurgence to life. Her daughter had taken her grief and packaged it neatly where those who knew that she was married and that her husband was dead, couldn't get a glimpse. In some quarters they called her heartless, an unfeeling Admiral who was too Starfleet to let a simple thing like the disappearance and subsequent death of her husband ruffle her neat appearance and fortitude. To her, Kathryn herself  'died' as she became more and more insulated. Chakotay had been the best thing that ever happened to her daughter, a miracle, she’d thought. She had liked the quiet man instantly and blessed him that he could make her daughter laugh again, be alive.

Kathryn jerked back and faced her again. "Mother, if  I don't keep hoping... I can't give up." Kathryn’s eyes became deeply clouded as she traveled for a moment to a place where she and Chakotay had existed alone, and were happy. "I can't give up, Mother..." Kathryn repeated her words in a pained whisper.

"I know, honey." Gretchen hugged her daughter spontaneously and when she stood back again, she smiled. "Now, is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well, I can do my own packing - "

"Oh, Kathryn! Do come home safely. I hope the negotiations will be successful on Surra. You know what you always do for me where you're away..."

"Right. A little souvenir for Gretchen Janeway."

"You go well, my daughter," she said. When Gretchen left to return to the lounge, a distinguished looking gentleman waited there for her on the couch.

"Well?" Adam Ponsonby asked as he looked up and held his hand out to her. When she was seated next to him, she cuddled closer, closing her eyes as a great sadness came over her.

"She's hurting, Adam. It's the knowledge that there was no word, not a body to bury and grieve. It's killing her..."

"And Kathryn is going to search for him," Adam stated.

"It's a last ditch effort to find him, Adam. A desperate attempt to succeed where the Federation failed - "

"We've done everything. You know that, my love."

"Yes...yes, I know. Kathryn understands fully. It's just that she is faced with losing a loved one in the same way we thought of them when Voyager was lost in the Delta Quadrant. They went into deep mourning when they knew that it would take them more than seventy years to get home..."

"If Chakotay is alive somewhere..."

Gretchen hugged Adam tighter to her.

"Then I hope to God that Kathryn will find him..." she whispered.

***** 

"Enter," Kathryn said softly when the door to the admiral's suite of the USS Pearston chimed. Seconds later, Magnus Rollins entered.

"Are you settling in, Kathryn?" he asked.

"You have a classy ship, Magnus," she responded.

"I have you to thank for my commission."

"You earned it, don't worry. How's James doing?"

"Pulling too many all-nighters studying for finals. He's keen on command track."

"I'm not surprised. James is in the top three of his class, and a real leader. You must be proud."

"I am," Magnus said, his face breaking into a broad smile, the pride in his eyes clear. "I am just glad that we're home to see our children grow up and to see them achieve, be there at last for them..."

"I'm glad I could bring most of my crew home, Magnus. It's a good feeling, being there for your children..."

The image of a lonely ship in a lonely black expanse was brief before Magnus broke the short silence.

"Well, Admiral, I've come to invite to you dinner in the Captain's private dining room."

A sudden vision of Neelix in apron and chef's hat on Voyager in what had been the ship's private dining room filled Kathryn with nostalgia.

"Thank you, Magnus. I'd like that. The other members of the delegation...will they be present too?"

"Only Admiral Ordan."

"I'll live."

"He's a dour man, mostly. But don't quote me," Magnus said, smiling. "I'll see you tonight then."

"Magnus..." she started as he was about to leave.

"Yes?"

"After the talks, I'll be staying on Surra for a while. I need time..."

Magnus frowned.

"But surely - "

"Don't worry," she assured him. "I've put in for additional leave."

"How long?"

"Four months."

"What?"

"I've already cleared with Headquarters the period of absence. It's been granted me, if you must know. I'll be borrowing one of the Pearston's type 11 shuttles - "

"That's my fastest and biggest shuttle. I guess I can't persuade you to reconsider?"

"No."

"Or tell you it's folly, perhaps?"

"No." 

"I'll see you tonight then, Kathryn."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Not insisting on explanations."

"You're the best Captain I've had the honour to serve. I trusted you then. I trust you now."

"You're a good man, Rollins. One of the best. I'll bring your shuttle back in one piece."

Magnus burst out laughing, then the laugh died as suddenly as it was born. He was pensive for a moment and Kathryn knew he was thinking of the many times she had told Chakotay to bring her shuttles to the bay in one piece.

When he left, Kathryn stood a long time staring at the doors of her suite. With a sigh she turned to her bedroom and removed a few PADDs from her duffel. Her fingers trembled slightly as she keyed in a code on one  PADD. She read Chakotay's last message to her. She remembered that morning when she had woken up to find that he had left already, and the first thing she saw on his bedstand was the note from him. Like she had done perhaps a thousand times in the last three years, and without actually seeing the text in front of her, she read the letter. She knew the words by heart, words that filled her with a strange comfort, words that made her imagine that he was still alive somewhere because they were words of hope.

My dearest Kathryn

You were sleeping so soundly, I just couldn't wake you up. You looked so beautiful and peaceful, it would have been a shame to ruin the picture. Besides, last night was wonderful and a more fulfilling farewell I couldn't have had.

Darling, just thinking of you every day will fill my own hours while I am away. I am still dazed, I guess, that my happiness could be so complete, even though we didn't start our marriage on a good footing. I am alive and humbled by the power of your love for me. You're generous, warm and caring, and it makes me feel good that when you look at me, I am your world.

I will be away, yet I am convinced in my heart that now, my love will be strengthened; I have never been more alive than I am now, even while I am in deep space. Whatever happens, sweet Kathryn, please know that even in our adversity, you will always be there, always be the most important reason I need to get home to you. I see your face in sleep and the deepest emotion swells in me and brims over into a touch, a kiss, a whisper of love.

Always, it will be your face, your unsurpassed beauty that, in me, will find expression in an equal magnificence as I draw your image upon my heart.

All my love,

Chakotay.

With a sigh, Kathryn pressed her lips to the PADD when she finished reading the letter. For A long time she sat on the bed, staring at the viewport, her thoughts drifting to far and familiar places where they had been so happy. Chakotay's words filled her with warmth, reassured her once again that he must be alive somewhere, thinking of her and that she kept him alive wherever he was.

Now more than ever, she believed that somewhere, Chakotay was waiting for her.

********** 

The planet of Surra was a little bigger than Earth and the Surrans a people of gentle nature.  She had prepared her preliminary studies well and on the delegation's recommendation, Surra would become a member of the United Federation of Planets.

With an M-class atmosphere and only three continents, Surra maintained very high temperatures throughout its twenty eight hour days and three hundred and eighty nine day year. With only two extensive mountain ranges that spanned the left corridor between two continents, most of the rest of Surra was flat, with many salt pans and depressions, dotted here and there with small plateaus that formed the major feature of its geomorphology. The First City of Surra was situated on the southern continent, and it rose in hundreds of modern structures with its air traffic a feature of the city. It nestled in a horseshoe river bend, the planet's oldest and longest river, widest at the section where the First City stood.

Kathryn had been surprised, and had seen surprise catch her colleagues as well, by the sprawling gardens that surrounded the city and the landscaping at the centre of the city. It was the biggest plaza she had ever seen. Filled everywhere with trees and tall shrubs and bushes that were all in flower, the splashes of colour caught their eyes. Kathryn had grinned when she looked at Admiral Ordan, who normally wasn't happy with anything. Ordan's eyes were appreciative. He was Bajoran, one of the first Bajoran admirals in Starfleet and she sensed that he too, like she herself, felt the calm of the place infuse them. Admirals Gordon, Hammerschlach and Eriodort, a Bolian, all smiled and gave nods of appreciation as they cruised in their runabout, barely metres above the tallest buildings and trees.

At one end of the 'town square', as she thought of it, they alighted from the runabout.

"Greetings, Admirals. I am Lenina Benar," said a young looking woman who stood there with her hands clasped together. Her garment was long, touching her ankles. Resembling the Romulans, the woman's hair was pitch black and her ears were pointed. Flaring eyebrows, that started between the eyes and rose dramatically as sharp points near the side of her forehead, completed the picture. She was striking.

Admiral Gordon nodded absently to the young ensign who piloted the shuttle to return to the USS Pearston.

"Greetings, Lenina," Kathryn said, while the rest of the delegation also either nodded or greeted.

"The Senior Council thought it would be wise to walk with you to the Conference Hall..."

"A good idea," Admiral Gordon said as they started walking. "The view of the plaza is excellent."

"I agree," replied Kathryn. Lenina Benar walked out ahead of them and from time to time she turned round and pointed to something of interest.

The place was even more beautiful as they walked along tree-lined lanes and pathways to the Conference Hall, where they were to meet the First Minister as well as other dignitaries whose application they would hear. The rest of the way they were quiet, soaking in the beauty of the city, a striking contrast to the dry regions of the rest of the continents. The river was a natural water supply and probably had an underground source since there were no mountain ranges on the continent. It was also the  reason for the verdant growth and proliferation of flowers.

They walked slowly until they reached an intersection where Lenina paused briefly before she proceeded forward again. Just at that moment, Kathryn felt a hand on her arm and she looked back to see a small, very old woman. Her hair was silver, and her face creased from age, but her eyes were alive. Kathryn stopped. The others had already crossed the intersection as Kathryn looked to them first, then back at the tiny Surran woman.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Kathryn asked courteously. The woman's eyes darted, then fixed on her again. Kathryn frowned. "I am sure I don't know you..."

The hand dropped away from her arm. The woman raised her hand slowly to Kathryn's face. She stopped breathing for a moment as the woman, her eyes on Kathryn in some breathless wonder, touched her cheek with long, quivering fingers. The touch was so light, it felt as if a feather just barely whisked past her. 'Who was this woman?' she thought. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the others already on the other side of the intersection.

"Who are you?" Kathryn asked the old woman.

A tear rolled down the woman's weathered cheek and her lips trembled as the words spilled from her:

"You will not have to walk alone

when once you see the flower of stone..."

The next instant, the woman was gone.

****

END PART ONE

PART TWO