PART EIGHT
The shores of Naxos were uneven. Bright sandy beaches were often interrupted by small rocky promontories that, once rounding them, led to hidden coves and small hidden caves. The inlets were surrounded by undergrowth; when the tide was out, one could walk easily across the short sandy stretch and continue along the shoreline.
The Aegean Tourist Authority mapped hiking routes along the entire island coast, with some day hikes and a few five day hikes. It was amazing to discover that a part of the world on which one was born and had lived for fifty years could yield so many cultural treasures as well as varying physical features that at times had one gasping at their beauty.
Ché Banderas trudged barefoot through the thick sand along a beach about three kilometres away from the house. Now he saw the promontory and followed the track along the hilly incline, through thick brush until the path dipped towards the next beach. The sun was out, having already lost its red glow, and the water glistened in its stillness as he walked. For a moment, he regretted not putting on his shoes. They were not suited for this walk anyway, and he'd move faster without fancy shodding. This stretch of beach was longer. There were only two cottages that he passed, perched high on the hill and not as close to the beach as Kathryn’s rented cottage. He had only to walk this distance before he reached the next promontory.
He wondered absently if the other tenants had never known of the tiny cove almost completely covered by bush, with the water, even at low tide, offering very little passageway straight across. Since the tide was out, it would be easy to reach the cove. Perhaps the other visitors weren't interested as he and Kathryn had been when they found it two weeks ago. She had been ecstatic, openly effusive about how clear the water was inside, with sandy patches only large enough to spread a blanket and open a picnic basket.
"Perfect for midnight feasts," she had said that day. He had been completely thrown by her openness, her restfulness in his company.
"Or midnight trysts."
"Ché, I was being very conservative here."
"I understand," he replied, laughing at her mock outrage.
He was breathing a little hard from the exercise. If he admitted it aloud to himself, it was the night's brilliance in Kathryn's arms that still made his body quiver just thinking of how they’d made love. Their sharing had been enervating, and he’d only slept in spurts between bouts of their lovemaking. He was dressed in a light T-shirt and shorts that he had to replicate because he couldn't walk over rugged landscape in the suit he’d worn last night.
It was only 0830 and already it was hot. He wiped his brow, then continued doggedly until he reached Devil's Cove - the name they dubbed the tiny inlet. Maybe he should have replicated a pair of sandals as well. But then, he wasn't thinking. He winced when he stepped on sharp twigs, pushing the brush aside for the concealed trail that led to the heart of the bay and the small cave inside it.
If Kathryn had thought to escape to any part of the island, it would be here. She had been uncommonly intrigued by it, and he wouldn't be surprised if she came here during the week. Using her recorder which lay on the counter in the kitchen wasn't the way he wanted to look for her.
Kathryn was...
He sighed. Earlier, when he had opened his eyes, expecting to see her, she was gone. After a quick search he ruled out the house and the beach. She went swimming most mornings. The sea lay gleaming alone. There was no Kathryn.
He sighed as he entered the dark cave, large enough that he could walk upright in it. There was just enough light to reveal Kathryn's presence on a patch of dry sand. Her back was against the wall of the cave, but it was her posture that worried him. She sat with her knees pulled up, and her head resting on her knees so that he couldn't see her face. There was an air of total desolation about her. She must have heard him enter; he trod slowly and carefully. Her body moved slightly, indicating knowledge of his presence.
He knelt in front of her and placed his hand on her arm. She wore a short sleeved dress that flattered her tiny waist and flared about her ankles. A few weeks ago, she had worn it too when they were on one of the other islands.
"Kathryn..."
She was troubled. After last night, her hesitant stammering of not being good in bed... Waking up in the bright light of day to find a lover who was not her husband, lying wrapped in his arms. Yes, that was what troubled her.
The first time he had seen her, he knew that his life would not be the same again. After his wife died, there had not been another woman with whom he wanted to become vulnerable again. He had imagined that doing so would lead to much pain and disillusionment and he had never been willing to take that chance again.
Then he saw Kathryn and felt the immediate attraction. As he got to know her better, it was not just her beauty but other qualities that drew him to her. She was smart, sexy, refined, but also compassionate and endearing and strong. That was what he sensed in her: strength and vulnerability curiously blending to make her utterly unique. He had known that he wanted to be in her company; had known that they would grow close, had known that he wouldn't be afraid of being vulnerable with her and had known that last night was inevitable, for him and for her. They had hurtled like heavenly bodies on a collision course to a fateful explosion between them.
Kathryn had known it too, but he had sensed her fear right from the start. She wore a wedding band, was alone on the island, according to Stavros, for two whole months. That told him more than what she’d left out of any information she had given him about her husband.
She admitted she wasn't happy with him and it was an admission that was wrenched from her very soul. His heart bled for her, for her unhappiness and her loneliness. She could laugh one moment and not realise how her eyes would suddenly grow dark from some remembered pain. That, more than her beauty, drew him to her. She needed someone close, someone who could understand her pain and just reach out to her. Her husband should be that person.
From her almost incoherent revelation, Che had been astonished to learn that she had never experienced lovemaking with her husband like she had with him during the night. Kathryn had been warm, utterly and incredibly sensual and natural in bed with him. And he had been astounded at her generosity, the way she responded to him. They had been one last night and it was heaven.
What was it with the errant husband?
"Kathryn," he called her name again, still softly, not insistent. He didn't want to scare her off into her shell where she couldn't be hurt again.
Slowly she lifted her head and stared at him through eyes that were bloodshot. She must have been crying a lot. He took her hand in his and she didn't pull away like he feared she might. Some light filtered into the cave and he could see her face. She was dejected, disconsolate and so very unhappy he wanted to rain kisses on her and assure her a thousand times that everything would turn out all right. Her throat work as she swallowed.
"My husband is Professor Chakotay - Advanced Tactical lecturer at Starfleet Academy. He also teaches Cultural History and Anthropology..."
"I know." Chakotay sounded to him like an important man.
"I thought you might. It's not classified."
Kathryn stared out the cave, her eyes roaming to the ocean, deeply pensive for a few minutes. Her lips trembled and he realised what a tremendous effort it was for her not to break down. She faced him again.
"He was also my first officer on USS Voyager for seven years in the Delta Quadrant."
"You knew him well, then."
"We became friends...best friends..." Another long pause. "The nature of our work and our situation in the circumstances in which we travelled required the kind of relationship unique in Starfleet." A tear formed at the corner of her eye, then rolled down her cheek.
"I guess you felt you couldn't have a personal and intimate relationship - " he started.
"Starfleet, protocol, fraternisation rules, Federation Laws, duty to my crew..."
"But?"
"I loved him. Seven years is a long time to love a man without - without..." Kathryn struggled, but he left her alone, only rubbing the back of her hand. "Without wanting to throw myself at him and forget that I had a mission..."
"So you traded your love for your mission, to get Voyager home."
A tear dropped hotly on his hand. It was followed by another and another. He waited. Later when the silent flow stopped, he brushed her cheeks dry.
"He fell in love with someone else... I thought he would never fall for anyone...that we had enough to carry us in a friendship. I thought once we got home, I could tell him I was ready now. I was wrong..."
"You thought being friends was enough for a man. Did he love you, Kathryn?" Ché asked, not wanting to hear her answer.
"He - he said it. But never in the way I thought he had to mean it. Chakotay...fell for another woman on board. He loved her. Everyone could see their open display of affection. I- " There was another pause. Kathryn's eyes were closed, and another tear ran down her cheek. "He changed, became a happy man, and she made him happy. I was - "
"What, Kathryn?"
"Jealous, miserable... I had to remain the captain, the commanding officer who loved her first officer but wasn’t allowed to show it, who made him wait too long..." Kathryn opened her eyes. He wanted to tell her to stop, the pain was too deep and she was hurting like hell.
"Kathryn, you don't - "
"Then a month after we arrived in the Alpha Quadrant, Seven of Nine - "
"Seven of Nine? That was her name?"
"It was her designation. A former Borg drone we reclaimed from the Collective. Her name is Annika Hansen."
"And Chakotay loved her..."
"He loved her deeply."
"I'm sorry, Kathryn, for your pain..."
"Seven left him. She had taken another lover. To this day, he’s never told me what she said to him, but whatever it was, it broke his heart. She destroyed him, destroyed him as a man. I stood by him, and watched him slide into deep depression. Another month went by and he asked me to marry him. He - he..."
"Needed your friendship, I guess."
"It was a mistake."
Then Kathryn suddenly stood up, throwing him off balance. By the time he recovered, she was out of the cave, walking through the undergrowth. He followed her until she stood on a pristine stretch of beach again where the sun bathed his cooled skin.
"Kathryn, what happened to make you so unhappy?"
Her faced creased with acute shame and embarrassment. He had given her body intense pleasure during the night. The way she responded, a wanton hussy whose eyes had remained like pools of heavy passion. Her sweet cries, her intense peaking. He had thought she'd pass out from the fullness of it. And she had been so afraid that she couldn't perform... She tasted of everything sweet. He had never known such oneness. Not even with his wife.
Now Kathryn looked at him, deeply unhappy.
"Last night... I have never been touched like that by my husband, you know... We were...two automatons." It rocked him that she could tell him something so deeply personal. She stuttered when she spoke again. "I n-never knew my body could - could respond that way. And..."
"And what, sweetheart?"
"Chakotay...whenever we had sex ..." The connotation was revealing. She had sex with her husband and lovemaking with him. "I couldn't forget how he loved Seven of Nine, Ché. His cabin was next to mine. I - I heard them...night after night..."
Kathryn clamped her hand to her mouth, and gave a few sobs. He pulled her into his arms. She was shivering, despite the heat of the morning.
"Kathryn, what we had last night...it was magic for me. I know it was for you, too. But I am not your husband whom you love, and that is what troubles you."
Kathryn turned a tear-stained face to him. Her eyes were fevered, bloodshot.
"It was my fault. I thought I was abnormal. I kept thinking of what he had before me, of his lover, and then every time he touched me, I froze. Last night, all through the night, Ché, you called my name. You made love to me, not to a shadow, not to a ghost. I was your world, and you were mine." Kathryn's tears flowed freely now and she stammered forth. "You called my name all the time. I heard my name and I felt so special, wanted and needed... Something in me exploded just knowing I made you feel like that."
"Oh, Kathryn, sweetheart..."
"He never called me anything, and every time it was her name he cried in his sleep, when he - he fucked me - "
"Kathryn!"
"That's right, Ché. It's all we ever did. In the beginning I thought it was okay, I was helping him. Then Seven of Nine came and lived in our bed, every night. We fucked, and even then she was there and he cried for her..."
Kathryn sailed out of his arms and collapsed on the sand, crying in hopeless abandon. He sat down next to her and she threw herself in his arms. He rocked her gently while she sobbed
Staring out over the ocean, his eyes touched the horizon. He imagined that he saw her in the distance calling him, her hair soft and blowing in the gentle breeze, her eyes laughing because she was happy. A tear slipped down his cheek. He hadn't been aware that he was crying, too. They were two lonely souls drifting in the Aegean until they’d found one another and shared something beautiful. He knew he had found a new love, a new life, however short it had to be. Kathryn meant everything to him, but right now she was wracked by guilt that she loved her husband, but found enjoyment in intimacy with another. He didn't think that she and her husband were physically incompatible, but what Kathryn revealed to him with such distraught outpouring, was surely enough to destroy her. Captain of a starship, Admiral in Starfleet, cold in bed with her husband... This could happen to any woman.
Kathryn had stopped crying and she looked at him with her tear stained eyes. He couldn't resist kissing her, his lips brushing lightly over hers. He pulled her up with him and held her very close, his hand pressing her head to his chest.
"You know that you're a very sensual woman, Kathryn. Very, very erotic." Did he feel her smile when he said that?
"I always thought I could be, Ché. And you brought it out."
"You gave me so much pleasure, I hardly knew to breathe. I was lonely for a long time, and coming to these islands... I was always searching, hoping that I would one day find the nymph that would make my life worth living again. You have given me so much in the month we've been together. So much," he whispered, pressing his lips in her hair again, and feeling how his eyes burned. Kathryn's arms gripped tighter round his waist. They stood locked together until at last, she pressed gently out of his arms.
He thought he could never get enough of just looking at Kathryn Janeway. Her hair glinted in the sun. She looked fragile, petite, with an amazing strength, yet so tiny, he wondered how she had the strength to command a starship through an arduous journey of seven years. Had she withstood mutiny on her vessel, as he’d heard from others? How many crewmembers' lives had she influenced for the better? How many crewmembers had died during their arduous trek?
The first time he had seen her, he had known that his life was going to change. Did the same happen for her husband, Chakotay?
Kathryn wore dresses and sarongs almost every day of the weekends he was with her on Naxos. They accentuated her figure, making her entirely feminine and sexy. He loved it when she walked, with the flared skirts always lapping against her ankles. She was beautiful, so beautiful. Didn't her husband ever see this side of her?
She shattered a myth many men even in these days erroneously assumed - women, especially beautiful and smart women, always had a good sex life, always climaxed. That was not always true. He knew that a woman needed many impulses, and enjoyed a slow build up and tender foreplay to prepare her body. Last night he knew the moment Kathryn was ready for him because he guided her there lovingly. There were still men around too selfish and self-absorbed, so that their own needs and enjoyment were paramount in bed and women were - he shook his head at the embarrassing designation - receptacles in which they expended and released their energy and spilled their semen, without a single thought to their partners' needs and enjoyment. .
Kathryn Janeway didn't deserve that. Last night they were equals, sharing and giving equally.
How could he not fall in love with her?
"Ché...?"
"I - I was thinking how beautiful you are, Kathryn. You thought you were abnormal, but how can that be? Could you tell me, please, why you responded with such passion and spontaneity when -?"
"It was because of you... Nothing else. There was no Seven of Nine to blight my enjoyment. My mind was clear... Besides, this island is very romantic and exotic and I was introduced to the most fantastic experience by a man who knows how to give pleasure."
"Kathryn... Are you saying that Chakotay - "
"I have no doubt he knows it too, Ché. But we both have demons to fight. I must be honest with you and say I came here to heal..."
"And have you healed?"
His chest constricted as pain lanced through him. He didn't want to lose her. He briefly closed his eyes, then looked at her again, expecting her to tell him was over. There was a gentle, gentle smile on her ravaged face. Of its own volition, his hand touched her cheek. Why were there a thousand drums beating in his heart?
"I still have a month to find out, Ché..."
He pulled her into his arms.
"You mean everything to me, sweetheart," he murmured into her hair. Then he released her and placed his arm round her waist. "We have a ways to walk to the cottage, I need to get to the hotel to get some clothes and we both need a shower and breakfast."
Kathryn laughed.
"What are we doing today?"
"Samothraki. Get a pair of hiking boots ready and suitable clothes. We're hiking to the highest point of the Aegean Sea... But we have to hurry. It's a two hour hike up the mountain."
"Sounds like a good place to be."
He pressed her closer, guiding her through the underbrush, carrying her in his arms to move across the water at the mouth of the cave where he'd found her. When he reached beach sand again, he put her down and held her hand as they continued on their way to the cottage. He looked at her from time to time, marvelling at her relaxed appearance now, and put the thought of her husband away in a deep dark corner, idly how he was ever going to let her go when the time came.
*********
He took her everywhere that weekend. Samothraki was a hiker's paradise. Mount Fengari rose out of the sea, a solid mass of granite, to an elevation of 1600m. For once they were blessed with sunshine, although it became colder the higher they walked. On the north slopes were the ruins of the Sanctuary of the Gods.
Ché had been afraid that Kathryn would outrun him. She was very fit.
"I'm a whole lot lighter than you, Ché," she had said, laughing.
"I'm carrying a twenty litre backpack. That's got to count!"
But there were parts where he had to hold her hand. The hike was steep and challenging. When they finally reached the top after two hours, he pulled her to him. He almost blurted "I love you", so beautiful she looked. She had worn her straw hat, and a good thing too, because the sun was fierce in the middle of the day.
Earlier in the morning, they had showered after they returned from Devil's Cove. When he wanted to join her in the shower, she had laughingly told him to wait his turn. Then they had a light meal at the hotel, allowing him to collect his gear. Kathryn had prepared the backpack for their lunch which they would eat at the summit of Mount Fengari.
At the top she had stood dead still for several minutes, spellbound by the view of the Aegean from the top. In the distance they could make out the shoreline of Lesbos, where they had been the previous week.
"It is said that Poseidon himself stood here and watched the proceedings of the Trojan War," Ché said, knowing he sounded touristy. "A good vantage point. There's the mainland where Troy once stood..."
"It's utterly beautiful," she said, turning to him.
He saw the tears in her eyes. Kathryn had been deeply moved by the experience and he was so happy to see her happy.
"Did you know how much I longed for home when we were trying to reach the Alpha Quadrant?" Kathryn placed her hand to her heart. She was overcome with emotion. "Every day... It was never out of my thoughts... Home. And all the years..."
"Chakotay was there, by your side..."
"Yes."
He wanted to tell her that Chakotay was a very lucky man to have the most remarkable woman on Earth as his wife. Then Kathryn smiled beatifically at him.
"But let us enjoy this time together, shall we?"
"Yes, my love..."
Her eyes grew wide at his endearment. Then, impulsively, she reached up and kissed him. It lasted several heady moments and they were both out of breath when it was over. When they returned to Naxos they were tired and hungry and had eaten a quick meal because it was already dark and he had to return to his hotel. By unspoken agreement, he always left to sleep at the hotel, except on Friday night when they were filled with the wonder of their emotions and lovemaking. Kathryn had dashed into the shower and this time, he ignored her objection when he stepped in, too.
"Oh, no, you don't," she started. But he had already grabbed the slippery soap and began to soap her body. She looked ravishing, naked and steamy from the running water. His hands had been everywhere, working her into a frenzy.
"Oh, yes!" he crowed as he lifted her on his shaft and pushed lazily into her. But she would have none of his slow movement and bit his lip in a punishing kiss to egg him on. For a time they grunted and gasped, their wet bodies heightening the ecstasy. She cried his name when she climaxed and moments later he whimpered her name against her open mouth. Afterwards they had dried themselves and when he left, Kathryn was already lying in her bed, her eyes drooping and reluctantly letting her grip on his hand loosen when he had kissed her silly before he had to leave.
Now it was Sunday evening, time for him to leave for home in Louisiana. Kathryn seemed pensive. The whole day they had scoured the beaches of Limnos, returning with a collection of shells which she wanted to keep for Chakotay. It was still early evening and Kathryn had been hungry for lovemaking. When they entered her lounge, she had turned to him, her eyes heavy and fiery. She had stood on her toes to kiss him, making him breathless with need.
"Hell, Kathryn..." was all he could say as she pulled his shirt from him and stripped him in double quick time. His hands hadn't been idle and he had pulled her dress up along her thighs and over her head. He looked heatedly at her in bra and panty before tearing them off.
"Yes!"
He had pulled her down on the floor and sailed effortlessly into her waiting and dripping centre. Kathryn's hunger had been so acute that she had climaxed quickly. He had taken the time to enjoy pounding into her as hard as he could until he finally collapsed. They had showered together, but didn't make love again. Kathryn had been content just to stand close to him and let the water run over them.
He loved her. How was he ever going to bear letting her go?
Now she sat at the table opposite him on the patio. The water glistened in the moonlight.
"What is it, Kathryn?" he asked. "Tell me, please..."
Without looking at him, she reached across the table to cover his hand.
"Next weekend when you come, can you stay with me the whole weekend? Sleep with me every night?"
He saw how her mouth quivered. His eyes burned. He swallowed back the urge to cry. Lifting his hand to cover hers, he brought it to his mouth and kissed it.
"Look at me, my love." Finally she faced him. He thought she looked embarrassed to be asking. But he wanted to die himself for the joy that she had. So he smiled gently. "I want to share your bed. You don't know how much I desire that. I want to wake up with you lying in my arms..."
"Thank you, Ché. You have made me very happy."
His heart wanted to burst with happiness.
*********
End Part 8