Okay, who among us wouldn't like to see the official X-Force movie? Special effects costs would be through the roof, the plotline would be impossible to follow, and we'd pretty much have to use either the MLF or the Externals as villians, but let's face it: it would rock! In fact, I'm willing to produce the entire thing in my back yard, with my co-directer, Greg, for a very low cut of the profits. Of course, the most important thing would be the cast, right? Well, here are some of my choice picks:
Cable: In the words of Claymore21: "Rutger Hauer (LadyHawke, Crossworlds) - The man plays bad***es with personalities, plus he looks like our man Nate" And who can't love a man who was in LadyHawke?
Domino: The perfect Domino would have to be portrayed by Geena Davis (A League of Their Own, Thelma and Louise) Sure, she'd need darker hair, but we're already putting on ten pounds of make-up, what's a dye job? Geena has the ability to just project kick-ass, and would fit right in bossing around X-Force.
Cannonball: Because X-Force just isn't X-Force with Sammy. This suggestion comes from David Morelock (who also wanted to see Jack Palance as Cable): Joaqain Phoenix (brother of River) I agree. He's got the nice-boy-gone-bad looks, plus I bet he'd look nice in spandex...
Meltdown: For Tabby, Drew Barrymore (Batman Forever, The Wedding Singer) is the obvious choice. She's small and blonde, but has that "don't mess with me or I'll leave you in a bodycast" aura. Besides which, have you looked at the girl? She looks just like the Tabster.
Moonstar: Originally, I wasn't even going to add Dani to the casting call, but then, I went to see Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, and lo and behold, Talisa Soto (Kitana) struck me as the perfect ex-Mirage! Plus, she does all her own stunts! (But don't quote me on that)
Sunspot: Okay, this one requires a little explaining. While puzzling over this very question one day, I received this email from the Dingo: "I don't know bout the rest of them but I (yes ME) should play Sunspot! I'm an okay actor, we look identical (except for the flaming part) and i love X-Force! So diditize me some flames on my head and i'm off! It'd be fun to play the "Dacosta Arrogance" to. Being rich wouldn't be bad either..so consider it! And when you've decided gimmee a call!" Well, Dingo, this is your lucky day! You've got the job!
Siryn: For X-Force's spunky Irishwoman, the perfect pick would be Dina Meyer (Diz, in Starship Troopers) Anyone who disagrees with me needs to go watch Starship Troopers a few more times. Namely the part where she starts kickboxing with her drill instructor.
Warpath (or whatever he's calling himself now): All right. This one is Amanda's fault. Again. She was reading my copy of X-Force #73, and started giggling uncontrollably at page 3, panel 3. "Warpath looks just like Jared!" she explained. Well, lo and behold, he did, and ever since, I haven't been about to picture Jimmy as anyone else but Michael Weiss (The Pretender, catch it on Saturdays. It's worth wasting an evening when you could have a hot date, or in my case, are babysitting and waiting for South Park to come on) He's big, cool, and slightly vengeful. Sound familiar?
Rictor: This suggestion comes from my very own sis: Keanu Reeves (Speed, The Devil's Advocate, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, eight million other things) At first, you may say "But Ric looks nothing like him..." Ahh, but you forget the days of the New Mutants when Ric actually looked Mexican, and incidentally, kinda like Keanu. Aw, c'mon, you remember the leather jacket and the armbands, doncha?
Shatterstar: Stephen Baldwin (The Usual Suspects, Crossing the Bridge, Threesome). Yes, the lost Baldwin brother. This suggestion came from Wayne. And I agree. Check out Wizard #49. He's featured in the casting call as Maul of the WildC.A.T.s, but let's face it, he look's just like our boy Shatty!
Deadpool: Look, if we're making a movie about X-Force, we might as well put in Wade. And the man made to master that merc-with-a-mouth is none other than... Adam Sandler (Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore). Can anyone else see Adam in the costume, waving a sword around, screaming "Where's my Snack Pack?" God, that would be funny...
Any more suggestions? Don't hesitate, nothing is solid here at Fire in the Hole! E-mail me at dsrtnomad@aol.com.
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